


Looking California, Feeling Oklahama

by Zaccari



Category: Kane (Band)
Genre: Community: au_bigbang, Dirty Talk, M/M, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-26
Updated: 2012-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-30 03:51:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaccari/pseuds/Zaccari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time an Oklahoman bar owner placed an internet ad...</p>
<p>
  <i>‘Bi-curious southern guy looking for a male somebody who might want to explore. Mid 30’s, not ugly, drinker, very occasional smoker. Absolutely not looking for love.’</i>
</p>
<p>And a Californian chef answered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking California, Feeling Oklahama

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the au_bigbang and absolutely would not have been finished without raggedy_edge cheering it on for months. 
> 
> I think I broke celtic_forest but the job she did beta’ing this was wonderful and so is she. I’m not the easiest person to beta for and I am so very grateful for her help…even if she didn’t know exactly what she’d let herself into
> 
> katzb101 also helped with the beta is so very good at telling me I haven’t lost my mind.
> 
> Having said all of that, I played and rewrote chunks of this after they’d seen it so all remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is fiction, made up and I mean no harm to the real people behind the persona's. I own nothing, owe much, but if you want to sue me, will accept a child as payment?
> 
> Also, be warned, included in this fic are NSFW links, photos and did I mention the whole NC-17 thing?

~Christian’s POV~

_‘Bi-curious Southern guy looking for a male somebody who might want to help him explore. Mid 30’s, not ugly, drinker, very occasional smoker. Absolutely not looking for love.’_

About the forth reply in, I realise I should have mentioned something about not wanting to hear from idiots, twelve year olds or anybody that actually uses the phrase ‘virgin man pussy’.

Then again, maybe the guy that sent the picture of him stroking his gerbil thought…yeah, okay, I don’t want to know what the fuck he might have been thinking, because once you get an image like that stuck in your head there’s just no mental erase button you can push.

Hello, my name is Christian Kane and I’m either having my midlife crisis way ahead of schedule, or I’m having my sexual identity crisis a decade or so late.

I’d say something about not having any idea about what is what with this kind of thing, but that should be ten kinds of obvious already. I posted a personal ad on the Internet and I’m complaining about morons replying? That kind of says it all, doesn’t it?

But I’m also a bar owner in a small town, and my Momma is making noises about me settling down sooner rather than later. This means my chances of working out this maybe-possibly-could be bi thing are not only limited by geography, the time I have to figure it all out is only just registering above nonexistent.

That explains the Internet. I hope.

And it’s not like I picked a site that was nothing but pop ups and Photoshopped pictures of Ron Jeremy’s cock on Brad Pitt’s body. It appeared professional, almost tasteful and the other ads looked like guys that might want something similar to me. Ending up with Gopher Guy just shows how my luck can run at times. Lots and lots of times.

Staring at my computer screen I realise I’ve got two options. One is delete the ad and just go back to ignoring the urge that might not even be an urge and sure as fuck doesn’t have name. Or I could wander around the site and maybe reply to somebody else looking for something that maybe I can help with. It’s not that I don’t want to do this, and the actor from Seattle, or the builder from New England sound interesting, yet either one of them could know the best way to lube rodents with Crisco.

I’ve actually shifted my mouse until it’s hovering over the edit profile button when another private message notification appears.

Dear God, proper spelling and no childhood pets, please?

_‘California guy, absolutely bisexual and willing to explore as much or as little as you want. Mid 30’s, okay looking (or so I’m told), drinker, more than occasional smoker and just looking for somebody who doesn’t expect anything he can’t give.’_

Okay, that was…well, kind of what I was after in the first place. Which is freaking me out a whole lot more than it should.

This is what I wanted, isn’t it?

Funny how now that I’ve got a reply from somebody who looks, or reads, normal, this is all seeming a little too real for me. Is this really what I’m after? I’m not so stupid that I don’t realise this’ll change everything. Whatever this may or may not progress into, the person on the other computer will be male.

Or a chick who wants to pretend she is and that’s just one more thing I don’t want to contemplate.

So, Christian, gonna do it?

I hit reply before I can over think it some more.

_‘Hey California, this is Oklahoma here and if you’ve ever done anything with a small furry animal and cooking oil, I’m sorry, I can’t be talking to you.’_

That’s it, that’s all I send back.

By the time I get back from grabbing a beer there’s another message.

_‘So the freaks have already gotten to you, have they, Oklahoma? I guess you won’t be all that disappointed when I tell you I generally use boring old KY Jelly as lube and the most adventurous thing I’ve had up my ass is a butt plug that vibrated in time with a Beyonce song I’m not actually going to admit to owning, will you?’_

Weirdly, I wasn’t expecting sex to come up so soon or so easily. Yeah, I know I said I wasn’t stupid, but sometimes I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed either. Gay sex site, Christian, helloooo?

_‘Beyonce? Man, that might be a bigger deal-breaker than the gerbil. And they have butt plugs that vibrate to music? Yeah, just imagine I’m slapping myself on the forehead right now. I’m new to the whole things up my ass thing and you’d think I’d buy a dildo before putting up a personal ad, wouldn’t you?’_

The replies are coming within minutes of me hitting send.

_‘Hey, no judging me! I needed a song with a strong, fast beat (Trust me, they’re the ones that feel the best). That’s the only reason I’ve got it. Most of the music I like is more singer/songwriter stuff. Or The Beatles, man, I love The Beatles. And yes, they make all kinds of vibrating things when it comes to sex – cockrings, butt plugs, you name it. I’ve got to ask though, you said you wanted to explore, have you done any solo recon?’_

Music I know, music is safe.

_‘I just love music. Real music, not ninety percent of the shit that’s in the top forty nowadays. That’s what I love about my business, I can play the music that I love and I can play it loud. Actually the loud thing is mandatory. As for the solo exploration, unless you count jerking off in the shower – and I don’t think you do – the answer to that question is none. Also, this whole jumping into talking about sex with a stranger thing is kind of weird for me.’_

Sex site or not, I’m still Southern born and raised.

_‘I want to hear more about your business one day, but I have a more important question first. If you’ve never had anything other than possibly some girl’s fingers in you what makes you think you might be bi? Also, I’m not a stranger anymore, Oklahoma, I told you about Beyonce. But if you need more than that, my name is Steve and I’m a chef.’_

_‘Do I need to tell you about staying safe on the Internet, California? (I like calling you that.) Telling me your real name and occupation after a few PM’s? How do you know I’m not Jeff Dahmer’s cousin or something?’_

_‘No you don’t and we both know you’re not. I already get the feeling you’re too honest for that, Oklahoma and I trust my feelings. Now how about you quit stalling and answer my other question?’_

For ten minutes I stare at his – Steve’s – California’s – last message. I have every intension of answering it, but this will be the first time I’ve ever even come close to voicing these thoughts and it’s a big thing.

To say this isn’t how I normally spend my Monday nights off would be an understatement, but none of this is making me feel as wrong as just reading Gerbil Guy’s email did and that alone means this guy isn’t the bottom of the barrel. I’m going to trust that right now.

_‘I’ve had my share of ladies, probably more than my share if the truth be known and I loved loving them. I love kissing them, touching them, the softness of the swell of a breast in my hand, the swell of a clit beneath my tongue. There’s not one thing about a long, sweaty, loud fuck with a woman that turns me off. But when I let myself think about it, and just for the record that isn’t always when my hand is on my dick, I want to know how it would feel to be filled with a thick hard cock hell bent on pounding my ass until we both explode. I wonder what it would be like to be touched by somebody who has rough, strong hands and already knows the equipment. When whoever is above you or beneath you is muscle and strength and won’t break if you’re too rough – how does it feel? That’s what I can’t shake, and that’s why I think I might be bi.’_

Or at least curious. Of course, there’s always the possibility I could find a naughty nice girl who wouldn’t mind using a strap on, but I don’t think so. Like I said, I’m a momma’s boy; if I thought there was another option I would have taken it.

All of that being said though, when California makes me wait fifteen minutes for a reply, I’ve got plenty of time to twist my doubts into stomach-tying knots and those knots are quickly turning into riverdancing elephants.

_‘I’m not sure how much of that you can accomplish over the ‘net, but if you want me, then my gut is telling me we want in on this ride. But website PM’s aren’t the way to do this. My email addy is[songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com). When you’re comfortable we can chat. Like I said, I’m a chef, and my hours can be more than a little fucked but I have Monday and Tuesdays off. Email me whenever, tell me whatever. I get that this is weird for you, but just try and roll with it, that’s what works for me. I’m gonna let you go now, Oklahoma, take care and I’m hoping I’ll be hearing from you soon.’_

My reply is fired off as quickly as I can type, mostly because I’m hoping he’ll still be on line to get it.

_‘I own a small bar, California, so my hours aren’t the best either. But I am my own boss, so I can cut myself some slack if you’ll be around on Tuesdays because Monday is the only night we’re closed. My email is[cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com) and you’ll be hearing from me. Oh yeah, and my name is Christian.’_

After that, I log straight off and head to the shower. My hand is already rubbing at my cock through my jeans and I’m very aware there won’t be any fantasies of pussy tonight.

~*~

Well, he said email him about whatever, though, honestly? I don’t think this is what he had in mind. Because the email I’m writing him isn’t exactly about sex.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: My employees are idiots

It’s either get this off my chest or kill one of them and I’m too pretty for jail. 

THEY’RE ALL FUCKING MORONS!

Nope, that didn’t help. 

It’s not like what we do is rocket science, it’s basically pouring beer, handing out pretzels and once in a blue moon making a drink that includes pineapple juice and a fucking stupid paper umbrella. At no point should you need to involve cotton candy and condoms. Unless, of course, you’re Jared.

Jared was dropped on his head a lot as a baby, that’s the only explanation.

If I’m not around tonight I’ll see you in twenty-five to life, or however long it takes me to earn Internet privileges.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: My employees are idiots

Cotton candy and condoms? Seriously? C’mon, you can’t just throw that out and not tell me the rest of it! That’s just not fair, Oklahoma.

Though if that’s the kind of people you have around you, exactly why haven’t you bought yourself a dildo yet?

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: My employees are idiots

No, it’s not a story anybody needs to hear. Ever. I don’t have the money for the therapy reliving it will cost me.

As for the dildo…I don’t know where to look and what the fuck I’m looking for, okay? 

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: Re: My employees are idiots

Let me know when you’re on line and have the privacy to talk to me, I’ll introduce you to the dark side that is dildo shopping.

~*~

Well thinking about that doesn’t keep my jeans from being uncomfortable for the rest of the day, not at all. But the fact I’m preoccupied about dildos and Steve does give Jared a free pass for the rest of the afternoon.

I even let the incident with the grapes and the banana slide by. Jared owes Steve for that one, believe me.

~*~

**Cali_cookie has logged into chat**

**Cali_cookie:** You around yet, man?

**Bootsandall has logged into chat**

**Bootsandall:** Almost.

**Cali_cookie:** Okay, that kind of makes sense…actually, no it doesn’t.

**Bootsandall:** Give me ten to finish the ledger I’m attempting to balance. This is the time of the night when I always end up wishing somebody else owned this bar.

**Cali_cookie:** Okay then, I’ll just sit here and amuse myself until you’re ready for me. Despite the paperwork, it must be cool owning your own business though. I wonder sometimes about setting out by myself, but then I catch a glimpse of my boss trying to work out some kind of governmental bullshit form and I realise I like having a life away from work, and a certain amount of freedom to go where the wind might take me. Like, Hawaii, Hawaii’s real good and it’d be nice if the wind could take me there again sometime soon. Then again, I could be completely off track and running a fairly large restaurant in L.A. is nothing like owning a bar in Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** Nah, I doubt it’s that much different. Probably the only difference is the volume of paperwork that has to be done, both of the businesses would require the same craptastic forms.

**Cali_cookie:** Hey you, stop typing and get your bookwork finished, I have plans for tonight that don’t included those kind of figures. 

**Cali_cookie:** And I’ve been thinking about what kind of dildo we should buy you. You don’t need anything too weird, not to start with. 

**Bootsandall:** I have had sex before you know. Even used a vibrator or two.

**Cali_cookie:** Not on yourself you haven’t. Keep balancing, Oklahoma. Anyway, back to the subject of dildos. I’ve got like ten of them, all with their own unique speciality. Then there are the vibrators, the butt plugs, the nipple clamps and…

**Bootsandall:** How the hell am I meant to concentrate on my damn ledgers with you telling me about the well-stocked sex shop you have in your bedroom?

**Cali_cookie:** Umm, you’re not? Are you done yet, Oklahoma? Are you alone? Free to shop with me, maybe play a little?

**Bootsandall:** I’m as done as I’m getting tonight, I’ll finish the books tomorrow. And yes, I’m alone. Nobody bothers me when they know I’m trying to make figures add up 

**Cali_cookie:** That’s a good thing, them not bothering you, but there won’t be anymore talk of figures. Go to [www.stockroom.com](http://www.stockroom.com/) and click on the link that lets you into the male site.

**Bootsandall:** Okay.

**Bootsandall:** Sweet fucking Jesus, warn a guy will you! I really don’t think this is the site for me

**Cali_cookie:** Breathe, Oklahoma, we’re not going to be checking out any of the bdsm gear. Not yet anyway. Click on the link to the dildo and plugs page.

**Bootsandall:** California - 

**Cali_cookie:** Just do it.

**Bootsandall:** Okay, done it, but seriously, still kind of freaking out here. They all look like they belong on the Matrix set, and believe me when I say I don’t.

**Cali_cookie:** Okay then, describe yourself to me.

**Bootsandall:** What? I thought we were...and you wanna…seriously, what the fuck?

**Cali_cookie:** You don’t like net speak do you?

**Bootsandall:** No. Why?

**Cali_cookie:** You typed out what the fuck instead of going the whole WTF thing

**Bootsandall:** Yeah, I’m not much of the LOL type

**Cali_cookie:** I’ll have to remember that. But don’t stress, we’re going to buy you something to stick up that virgin ass of yours, but I want to distract you for a minute, sidetrack the freak out you seem set on having. So describe yourself to me, then I’ll tell you something about little ol’ me and after that - shopping. 

**Bootsandall:** I hate shopping.

**Cali_cookie:** But this won’t involve the question does my ass look big in this, it’ll be more along the lines of does this look big in my ass. C’mon, you said you weren’t ugly, tell me something else about yourself, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** Okay. I’m about 5’ 10” and kind of built. My hair is brownish, past my shoulders, kind of curly and my eyes are blue. I have the permanent tan thing going on as well. Did you ever watch WWE wrestling?

**Cali_cookie:** You telling me you look like a wrestler?

**Bootsandall:** No, but I sound a little like Shawn Michaels. 

**Cali_cookie:** Oh god, so a voice just made for phone sex?

**Bootsandall:** Apparently.

**Cali_cookie:** Well, I like the sound of that voice thing, but just for the record, when it comes to describing yourself, you suck.

**Bootsandall:** Deal with it. Your turn.

**Cali_cookie:** I think we’re probably about the same height, that’s a good thing. I’m not what you’d call ripped, but I’m not exactly later-in-life Marlon Brando either. My hair was longer but I cut it recently, now it’s just these waves that don’t quite cover my neck. Cutting off half a dozen inches also got rid of most of the bottle blonde shit as well and now it’s a light brown that’ll probably get lighter in the sun. I’m never pale, but when the sun hits me I get darker, and we both have the blue eyes thing going on. I have a few tattoos on my arms, and I sound like exactly what I am, a guy that’s been born and raised in California. I actually love to cook, even if it is what I do for a living, but I love music as well. I remember telling you that, but I didn’t tell you I play occasionally, did I? I’ve always got music around me, it doesn’t matter if it’s the radio or just me humming, I need it to be there.

**Bootsandall:** My tattoos are on my calves. And I used to sing some.

**Cali_cookie:** See now they’re important detail, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** I’ll work on getting better at them.

**Cali_cookie:** That’d be nice.

**Cali_cookie:** Okay, Oklahoma, back to the dildos. Do you want my input?

**Bootsandall:** No, not at all.

**Cali_cookie:** Sarcasm does not become you.

**Bootsandall:** Funny, I’ve been told that before. 

**Cali_cookie:** You should have listened.

**Bootsandall:** Bite. Me.

**Cali_cookie:** Awww, honey, I thought you wanted to start slow.

**Bootsandall:** Of all the sentences I never thought I’d say…can we get back to the dildos?

**Cali_cookie:** Sure we can, Oklahoma. If you want to start with something that looks like you look go for the silicone. If you want to start with something that isn’t too freaky but feels fucking incredible, click the link for the glass etc.

**Bootsandall:** You’d do the glass thing, wouldn’t you?

**Cali_cookie:** Fuck yes.

**Bootsandall:** Okay, that’s where I’m going then.

**Bootsandall:** Fuck, that first one looks like a soup ladle with a hole in it, how can that feel good?

**Cali_cookie:** God, I am going to have so much fun with you.

**Bootsandall:** If you say so. California, I have no idea what the fuck I’m looking at here. Most of these look like the sculptures in a modern art expo.

**Cali_cookie:** You don’t get that either, do you?

**Bootsandall:** No.

**Cali_cookie:** Just stick with looking at the ones made of Pyrex, and please, no smart assed comments about cookware. You see, the Pyrex has this little bonus in that you can put it in your freezer, or let it sit in some hot water. Believe me when I say the temperature changes can feel more than a little good.

**Bootsandall:** Any of the Pyrex ones?

**Cali_cookie:**<http://male.stockroom.com/Spectrum-Glass-Dildo-P3555.aspx> looks like fun. Not too big, but you don’t want too small either.

**Cali_cookie:**<http://male.stockroom.com/The-Blue-Unicorn-P3378.aspx> would work

**Cali_cookie:** <http://male.stockroom.com/Blue-Helix-Real-Tip-Rocket--P3606.aspx> is another

**Bootsandall:** Thank god you didn’t suggest the candy cane

**Cali_cookie:** Why?

**Bootsandall:** Never mind.

**Bootsandall:** Do you own any of these?

**Cali_cookie:**<http://male.stockroom.com/Fat-Jack-Bumps-P3607.aspx>

**Bootsandall:** Fuck.

**Cali_cookie:** We’ll work up to that.

**Bootsandall:** I’ll just sit here and whimper.

**Cali_cookie:** Stop stalling and pick one, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** <http://male.stockroom.com/Spectrum-Glass-Dildo-P3555.aspx>

**Cali_cookie:** Nice choice, now go on, order it. Buy some lube while you’re at it.

**Bootsandall:** They do sell lube in the town I live in, California, we’re not quite that backward.

**Cali_cookie:** Do you still live in your hometown?

**Bootsandall:** Yes.

**Cali_cookie:** So everybody knows you, knows you aren’t dating and if you went to any drug store and bought lube they’d all be whispering about you, and wondering, wouldn’t they? 

**Bootsandall:** Okay, I’m buying some lube as well. Will any kind do?

**Cali_cookie:** Yes.

**Cali_cookie:** I’m taking your lack of response as a sign you’re being a good boy and doing what you’re told.

**Bootsandall:** You know, I rarely do what I’m told. Ask anybody.

**Cali_cookie:** I don’t care what you do with other people, only what we do together.

**Bootsandall:** I don’t want to get hard at work. Not again, anyway **.**

**Cali_cookie:** Again?

**Bootsandall:** Yeah, I might have been excited when you mentioned going shopping this afternoon.

**Cali_cookie:** How long is your new toy going to take to arrive, Oklahoma?

**Bootsandall:** I paid for the priority shipping.

**Cali_cookie:** Good boy. I don’t want you using it until we talk again, okay? We’re both working until next Monday, but I wanna hear from you. Hear when you jerk off, hear what you think about to get yourself hard. Because I’m going to be over sharing with you, believe me. And next Monday night, I want you at home. Do you have a laptop?

**Bootsandall:** Yes.

**Cali_cookie:** I want you naked and on your bed with your laptop and the toy.

**Bootsandall:** What about you?

**Cali_cookie:** Me and Brutus will be waiting for you in much the same condition **.**

**Bootsandall:** Brutus? 

**Cali_cookie:**<http://male.stockroom.com/Fat-Jack-Bumps-P3607.aspx> I call him Brutus.

**Bootsandall:** You named it?

**Cali_cookie:** You will too, trust me.

**Bootsandall:** If you say so.

**Cali_cookie:** I do.

**Bootsandall:** I’ve got to go soon, it’ll be time to close up.

**Cali_cookie:** Okay, Oklahoma, but let me leave you with something.

**Cali_cookie:** There is one thing I want at least one email about this coming week. You fingering that sweet ass of yours open. When it’s just your fingers you don’t have to worry too much about using lube, any kind of lotion will do. I want to hear about how many fingers you had up there, how it felt when you found your prostate and if it was enough. Explore, enjoy, write me like you would the journal I know you never had. I’m going to go play with Brutus now while I’m imagining a sexy southern voice and blue eyes. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.

**Cali_cookie has signed out of chat.**

**Bootsandall has signed out of chat.**

~*~

“Padalecki, you’re closing."

My only answer is a raised eyebrow, because his mouth is full of God only knows what. I’m not God, and I don’t want to know.

“I'm going home. You owe me, Cotton Candy Man.”

He just nods; Jared knows when I have a point and he shouldn’t argue. After all, I sign his cheques. 

I don't even last until I get home, I end up jerking off in my car two miles down the road. I think the image of Brutus is seared into my brain.

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: My nighttime activities

Can I just start out by saying it’s a good thing I don’t spend too much time sitting on my ass at work. 

Because it’s been a while since I had an ache quite like the one I’m enjoying today.

If you ever think that fooling around with virgin you isn’t as hot as hell for me as well, let me tell you what I got up to last night. I was hard before we even finished chatting, but I was trying to be a good boy and didn’t undo my jeans until we’d said goodnight and I was on my way to the bedroom. Alone in my bedroom, wondering what you’d think of me spread out over my bed and wishing you were there to watch every little thing I did to myself until you just couldn’t stop yourself from joining in. That wouldn’t be happening, so I closed my eyes, pictured beautiful blue eyes watching and set about enjoying myself knowing I’d be telling you every single detail.

I was naked and stroking myself as I climbed onto my bed. The touch wasn’t hard, or fast, it was just there because I just had to touch. I couldn’t even stop completely as my free hand was grabbing Brutus and the lube from my bedside drawer. But then I could lay back and really let the games begin. 

You were what I thought about as my touch got firmer, tighter and the precome that didn’t end up slicking my hand was pooling on my stomach. Without me even realising it, my legs were spreading, like I was opening myself for you to see. I would have given anything to be able to ask you what you wanted to see. 

Can you see me, Oklahoma? Are you watching? 

The hand wrapped around my cock stopped then and just held on as my other hand started to wander. It didn’t take much for my fingers to end up in my mouth. I like something to suck on, it’s kind of why I smoke, and they were well and truly wet by the time by the time they moved down my body, leaving a trail that you could have traced with your tongue. You know, if you’d wanted too.

God knows I wanted you too.

My nipples were begging to be touched, pinched, tugged on but you see I have this kink. I like using precome, or come, as lube when I play with them. God, I love making my partner come then using it when I play with their nipples or slip my fingers into their ass. Will you do that for me one day? Play in your come, touching yourself and tell me all about it? But last night I was content with slicking my still damp fingers through the drops collecting on my gut before bringing my hand back up to my chest. The first time I pinched at myself I nearly fucking came…that never happens, Oklahoma. Yeah, I love me some nipple play, but coming from it when I’ve barely even started? How about no. But apparently that’s how much you’ve got me worked up just from buying a fucking dildo. God, my nipples were so hard, and they just got harder as I pulled at them, twisted them, smacked at them, moving from side to side, and the whole time I kept wetting my fingers with the stream of precome I had going. Seriously, I didn’t think there’d be anything left when I did come.

Another thing on the good list is the fact the shirt I have to wear to work isn’t tight because my nipples are still swollen and I don’t have the time to jerking off in the bathroom.

Not tonight anyway.

There’s a whole realm of stuff I want to be the one to introduce you to, and how good it feels to have the fuck teased out of your nipples is pretty damn high on my agenda. What kind of sounds will you make? God, I wish I could see your face when you try it for the first time.

I was so hard, Oklahoma. Painfully, hurt so incredibly fucking good hard. One more swipe of my fingers through the puddle on my stomach and two of them were in my ass. I needed Brutus up there and I needed it *now*. My fingers weren’t enough, the burn wasn’t enough, I wasn’t even sure Brutus would be enough, so I was barely open when I lubed him up and slammed him in. I actually saw fucking stars, if you can believe it, and my brain shut down except for one thought – I wanted it to be you, your dick filling me, pounding into me fast and hard, over and over.

Can you picture it, Oklahoma? Feet planted on the bed, hips arched into the air, glass dildo as far as it could go inside of me and me trying to catch my breath before thinking breathing is overrated and working that fucking glass dick in and out of my ass as hard as I possibly could. I fucked me, I fucked the air, the hand not holding Brutus was slapping at my cock and my balls, and I just couldn’t go fast, or hard, enough. Finally I was coming – everywhere. I felt like I was covered in it. I left Brutus inside of me the whole time I spent running my fingers through it and sucking them clean, until there was nothing left to taste. I could feel myself clenching around Brutus and I wanted to go again. Fuck I wanted, but my body just couldn’t. I felt so empty when I slid Brutus out, though, that I had to replace him with a plug. I was panting, sweating, grinning and exhausted. I fell asleep like that, with the plug filling me just enough.

I took a very long shower this morning and enjoyed every second of it.

I cannot fucking wait until next Monday night.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: My nighttime activities

I…fuck, man, how am I supposed to top that?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: My night time activities

You don’t have to. Believe me when I say I’ll be more than good whatever you tell me. I know you’ll try.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: I feel so fucking stupid

But I’m going to try to do this. No way in hell it’ll be as fan-fucking-tastic as yours was though.

Tuesday night? I left Jared to close up pretty much straight after you signed off. I’m thirty five for fuck’s sake, I’m not used to getting hard at work and then having to do something about it *now*. I jerked off in my car, without leaving the parking lot, California. Just undid my jeans enough to pull my dick out and it took probably four tugs before I was coming, but I was panting like I’d been at it for hours. Come ended up over my cock, my balls, my jeans, my hand and I kind of liked it. I didn’t taste it, but I could hear you in my head telling me I should. Funnily enough when I finally got home, I showered and passed out. Thirty seconds of my hand and me left me as wrung out as a four-hour fuck.

I might have put off doing what you asked after that. Right up until I got your last email. There was no fucking way I could not jerk off after that. I’m just grateful I didn’t open it at work.

By the time I got to end and read about you wearing the plug at work my fingers were curled around the bulge in my jeans squeezing and rubbing and I didn’t even realise I was doing it at first. I had to stop though when I realised I was about three seconds from making a very big mess in my jeans.

Should I mention I don’t wear boxers? Or any other kind of underwear? Well, I just mentioned it and I don’t.

Anyway, I kind of knew it was time so I grabbed some body butter shit that didn’t smell too bad, and was left here probably by my best friend’s wife, and headed to my bedroom. I was horny as hell, but still felt stupid. Masturbating has always been a spur of the moment thing, this whole going to my room, shutting the door knowing what I was going to be doing just felt fucking strange.

Not quiet strange enough for me to stop though.

I took my clothes off, laid on my bed and then just started reliving your email. That took away most of the feeling stupid and left a whole lot of needing to come. I could see you so easily, even though I have no idea what you really look like. But I could see you, your hand, that fucking monster toy, see you come everywhere…I wanted to see if me licking at your nipples would sooth them or make them hurt just that little bit sweeter. I’ve never really been into nipples, well, not mine anyway, but this time I couldn’t have stopped myself from rubbing my fingers over them if you’d held a gun to my head. Even without really knowing what I was doing it felt good.

Like I said, I’m thirty-five, I should know how my body reacts to pleasure by now, shouldn’t I? You already know how wrong I was in that assumption, don’t you?

One of my hands was still moving back and forth across my chest, petting, lightly pinching even as my other hand was dipping into the pot of lotion shit. I’ll be honest, I was trying not to think about what I was about to do. 

What if it felt good? What if it didn’t?

I ended up leaving my nipples alone and wrapping a hand around my dick, see I know that feels good. I was just kind of playing with it when my fingers started circling my hole. Yes, I’ve had chicks finger me before, but this is different. I was doing this for my pleasure and I wasn’t imagining some chick. I had you and Brutus on a continual loop in my head. Just the tip of my finger slid into me as my hand squeezed around the head of my dick. Yeah, I love having a hand covering the whole head and squeezing, then just a palm rolling the precome all over, so I kept doing that as one finger pushed right up into me. That was more weird, but the weird wasn’t wrong, it was like I was on the edge of something I’d been waiting for for a long time and…and I trusted you. If it felt good enough for you to fuck yourself like you did, I could manage a finger or three.

I started with one, just sliding in and out as I kept playing with myself. I can come from having the head played with, but it has to be done right and I know how to do it just right enough to make the pleasure build without having a premature finale.

In the end I absolutely had to stick a second finger in with the first. My ass was like ‘gimme gimme gimme’. Any kind of strange left the building then and I started actually fucking myself. You ever have that feeling where it feels so fucking good you only want it to feel better, but you never want the good you’re feeling right then to stop either? That was me, on my bed, finger fucking my ass, and playing with the head of my dick.

Then I bumped my prostate by sheer accident. Fuck, California, I’m glad I live alone, because there may have been some kind of yelling and whimpering involved with that, and once I found it I couldn’t fucking stop playing it. I rammed a third finger up there, wrapped my hand around my cock and went for it. I fucked, I jerked and the whole time I thought of you. And this time when I came I tasted it, but I pretended it was yours.

I don’t know what I was saying, but it was something, because when I was done I could barely whisper. And when I finally took my fingers out I felt empty. And still horny.

When I woke up this morning, I’d actually been jerking off in my sleep. Seriously, I was hard and damn near ready to come by the time I was conscious. Your name might have been involved when I came that time.

I don’t think I classify as bi-curious anymore.

Talk to you Monday, California.

Oh, yeah, and the dildo arrived this morning…do I really have to wait?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: I feel so fucking stupid

Not as good as my email? Seriously? Oklahoma, I read your fucking email on my iPhone, while I was getting some air in the park and I had to find a fucking tree to hide behind while I rubbed myself off. 

You don’t wear underwear? You like having your dick head squeezed? You were jerking off in your sleep? My name? God, man, my dick is damn near raw I’ve been pulling on it that much. 

Send me a mailing address for you, I want to send you something. It doesn’t have to be your home address, just a post office where I can do a ‘care of’ will do. No I’m not telling you what I want to send, but I promise you the post master won’t be able to tell either.

And yes you have to wait. If I have to wait you have to wait. Fuck me, Monday can’t come soon enough.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: I feel so fucking stupid

You got a exhibitionist kink I should know about, California?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: Re: I feel so fucking stupid

No, I have a fucking Oklahoman kink you’ll know all about come Monday night, believe me.

An address?

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: I feel so fucking stupid

127B Whitehorse Lane

Lone Grove OK

73443

Is it Monday yet?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I feel so fucking stupid

Is it my turn to give you the Internet safety speech?

Soon, baby, real soon.

Next time you’re in the shower, if you’ve got one of those detachable showerheads, take it down, turn the heat of the water right up then as best you can, hold yourself open and see how the water feels over your hole.

If you don’t have one, hire a plumber.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: I’m changing the subject line

I don’t need the speech, I’m going with my gut too and I trust you.

It’s not soon enough, especially since I damn near fucked myself with a showerhead this morning.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Change is as good as a holiday

Before you come on line tomorrow night, get one of those thermal coffee mugs and fill it with hot water. Put Steve in the water so he’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: I need a fucking holiday…as in a holiday where I do nothing but fuck

Its name is Steve?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: A fucking holiday beats the crap out of Halloween if you ask me

Calling it California would just be weird. Besides, Steve is what you’ll be screaming, I’ll make sure of that.

~*~

**Cali_cookie has logged into chat**

**Cali_cookie:** Whenever you’re around, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall has logged into chat**

**Bootsandall:** I’m here, California.

**Cali_cookie:** How’s your week been?

**Bootsandall:** Interesting.

**Cali_cookie:** Interesting because of me, or interesting because your employee scares you with cotton candy and condoms?

**Bootsandall:** Interesting because of Jared. You’ve made it borderline unbearable.

**Cali_cookie:** How so, baby?

**Bootsandall:** I’ve never really liked being called that.

**Cali_cookie:** You want me to stop it?

**Bootsandall:** Oddly, no.

**Cali_cookie:** Okay then I won’t. Now answer the question.

**Bootsandall:** I’ve been at least half hard all week, I’ve had wet dreams, and as many times as I jerked off it was never enough. I’m thirty-five going on thirteen. That’s how my week has been. How about you?

**Cali_cookie:** Oh about the same as yours.

**Bootsandall:** I thought you were all about the detail?

**Cali_cookie:** I am. But we’ve both been looking forward to tonight all week, do you really wanna know how many times I wore a butt plug to work?

**Bootsandall:** No.

**Bootsandall:** Yes. How many?

**Cali_cookie:** Four.

**Cali_cookie:** I also bought a new one and named it Christian.

**Bootsandall:** Fuck.

**Cali_cookie:** Getting hard yet, baby?

**Bootsandall:** Yes.

**Cali_cookie:** Are you naked?

**Bootsandall:** I have some sleep pants on. You?

**Cali_cookie:** I have Christian up my ass.

**Bootsandall:** Fuck.

**Cali_cookie:** Get naked, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** Done.

**Cali_cookie:** Do you have everything else we’ll need? Lube, Steve set up like I asked?

**Bootsandall:** Yes.

**Bootsandall:** Are you going to…with me?

**Cali_cookie:** Oh hell yes, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** How’re we going to do this? I mean if both of my hands are involved in other things, how am I going to type?

**Cali_cookie:** Lay on your side and put you computer down beside you. To start with you’ll only be using one hand, you can type one handed, can’t you?

**Bootsandall:** Smartass. It’s more like I have no idea how to type with two hands.

**Cali_cookie:** Then we’ll be fine. When we get to the parts that need two hands, we’ll both just have to report in afterward, won’t we?

**Bootsandall:** Oh fuck me.

**Cali_cookie:** That’s kind of on the agenda, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** I hope so. I really, really hope so.

**Cali_cookie:** Do you like kissing, baby?

**Bootsandall:** Yeah, I do. It’s like this appetiser that I never get sick of. I can do it for hours without there having to be more.

**Bootsandall:** Or I could. With you, I’d probably eat at your mouth for about two minutes before I wanted to be eating at other things.

**Cali_cookie:** Fuck.

**Bootsandall:** That’s a change, California.

**Cali_cookie:** I guess I can let you get the better of me once in a while.

**Bootsandall:** Do you like kissing?

**Cali_cookie:** Sort of. It’s always been the gateway to the main even for me though.

**Bootsandall:** Then you’re not doing it right.

**Cali_cookie:** I’m not?

**Bootsandall:** Nope. 

**Bootsandall:** I’m not saying that I don’t want to fuck as much as the next guy, but you can do things with two mouths and a couple of tongues that can make that fuck a whole lot better

**Cali_cookie:** Yeah, and it’s called oral sex.

**Bootsandall:** So not what I meant. If you were here I could show you. I can’t tell you about kissing, it’s very much a showing kind of thing.

**Cali_cookie:** We’ll get back to that then. Fair enough?

**Bootsandall:** Fair enough.

**Cali_cookie:** Still hard?

**Bootsandall:** It’s a half-mast kind of thing right now. Is it time to play, California?

**Cali_cookie:** Yeah, it is. Get yourself all comfortable, baby.

**Bootsandall:** Done.

**Bootsandall:** How does it feel? Having the plug inside of you right now?

**Cali_cookie:** Because you need the visual…

**Cali_cookie:** <http://male.stockroom.com/The-Hand-Sculpted-Acrylic-Anal-Plug-2-P2964.aspx> That’s my Christian, baby, right there.

**Cali_cookie:** As to how it feels? Amazing? Incredible? Fantastic? Before I came on line I fingered myself open barely enough to push him in and the way I’m sitting, propped up on some pillows, legs spread, one edge of Christian’s base touches the bed just enough that if I rock my hips, he moves inside of me. He’s not jabbing at that spot inside of me, he’s pressing against it, rubbing it. Have you fucked yourself with your fingers enough to imagine having something pressed into you that doesn’t let up?

**Bootsandall:** I don’t…I’m not sure I could cope with that. I touch my prostate and I need to come, like now if not sooner.

**Cali_cookie:** Does that mean you wanna try for more than one orgasm tonight?

**Bootsandall:** Honestly? The way I’ve been blowing my mind lately I’m not sure I could.

**Cali_cookie:** We’ll just have to see how it paces out, won’t we?

**Bootsandall:** Can I fucking touch myself some how yet?

**Cali_cookie:** Start with your nipples, pinch them like you know I would if I was there. One, then the other.

**Bootsandall:** That feels…

**Cali_cookie:** It’s allowed to feel good, Oklahoma, it doesn’t make you a girl.

**Bootsandall:** I know that. It’s just different I guess.

**Cali_cookie:** Different isn’t bad. I’m gonna show you how much better different can actually be. If I was there I wouldn’t just be pinching your nipples, there’d be nipple clamps, connected by a chain that I could pull on as I was blowing you. I think you’d like that. Fuck knows I would.

**Bootsandall:** When I got the chance to turn the tables, California, I’d be biting at yours. I know you’d like that, a little sharp pain with your pleasure. I like to bite.

**Cali_cookie:** Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Move your hands, do that thing you like with the head of your cock.

**Bootsandall:** I found a kink of yours all by myself, didn’t I darlin’?

**Cali_cookie:** Yes.

**Bootsandall:** Would you let me mark up your chest? The inside of your thigh?

**Cali_cookie:** I thought you wanted to get to the fucking?

**Bootsandall:** I do, but I’ve discovered I want you to be just as desperate for it as I am.

**Cali_cookie:** Oh yeah, because that was always in doubt, wasn’t it?

**Cali_cookie:** But, yes, I’d let you mark whenever you wanted to. I’d fucking beg for it. 

**Bootsandall:** Please tell me you’re hard, that you’re rocking down on the bed…

**Cali_cookie:** Hard, leaking again, fucking everywhere…what is it about you that makes me do that?

**Bootsandall:** Can I get something inside of me yet? Please?

**Cali_cookie:** First we need you to get comfortable. Grab a couple of pillows and put them under your hips for support.

**Cali_cookie:** Leave one hand on your dick and slick the fingers of your other with the lube.

**Bootsandall:** Can’t type if I do that.

**Cali_cookie:** Then just read, let me get you off. Then when you can function you can tell me about it while I enjoy myself. 

**Bootsandall:** Okay.

**Cali_cookie:** Then c’mon, baby, you know what I want. Squeeze at your dick while you push two fingers straight into that hole. I know it’ll burn, but trust me, it’s a burn that’s anything but bad.

**Cali_cookie:** Move them in and out, but not fast, not yet. I want that in time with the way your other hand squeezes. In, squeeze. Out, squeeze. I’m pushing at Christian as I squeeze my own cock, Oklahoma and I like it, a whole fucking lot.

**Cali_cookie:** Squeeze that hand on your dick as hard as you want to, but don’t release it.

**Cali_cookie:** Keep it there and push a third finger in

**Cali_cookie:** Don’t move them, just enjoy the feeling.

**Cali_cookie:** You start fucking yourself again now, using your fingers to stretch yourself open.

**Cali_cookie:** You’re gonna have Steve in you soon and when you do nothing will ever be the same again

**Cali_cookie:** Keep going

**Cali_cookie:** But don’t you fucking dare come. 

**Cali_cookie:** Fuck, I’m beyond hard. Maybe I should come and play in it as you tell me how good this felt.

**Cali_cookie:** I know you’re shaking your head, you know.

**Cali_cookie:** Nah, I’m not gonna come, not yet. I’m enjoying this too fucking much to be calling game over just yet.

**Cali_cookie:** Take both your hands away, Oklahoma. Now!

**Cali_cookie:** I’ll bet you’re shaking, aren’t you?

**Cali_cookie:** Get the lube, grab Steve from the water and get him all nice and slick. You have no fucking idea how good it’s going to feel with him all hot like that

**Cali_cookie:** Then again, after what you said about the showerhead, maybe you will.

**Cali_cookie:** It’s time, baby. One hand on that beautiful hard dick of yours and then as slowly as you need to, push Steve deep inside.

**Cali_cookie:** Don’t go at it hard, no matter how much you think you want to

**Cali_cookie:** You won’t thank me tomorrow if you do that

**Cali_cookie:** He’s in there, isn’t he, Oklahoma? You’re all full, stretched and the heat of the dildo is almost burning you, isn’t it? You want nothing more than to just fuck yourself into oblivion with it, don’t you? 

**Cali_cookie:** Don’t fall for any of that top/bottom bullshit, Oklahoma.

**Cali_cookie:** Gay sex is just like any other sex, it’s about what feels good for you and whoever you’re with, fuck everybody else.

**Cali_cookie:** Right now I’ll bet you need fucking though, don’t you?

**Cali_cookie:** Grab his base, baby, start off slow then just fucking go for it.

**Cali_cookie:** Fuck your ass

**Cali_cookie:** Jerk your cock, squeeze it.

**Cali_cookie:** Angle Steve until he’s grazing your prostate or slamming straight into it.

**Cali_cookie:** Your choice.

**Cali_cookie:** But the whole time I want you to imagine it’s me fucking you with Steve

**Cali_cookie:** My hand on your dick

**Cali_cookie:** That’s why it’ll be my name you scream.

**Cali_cookie:** Won’t it, Christian? You’re going to scream for Steve, aren’t you?

**Cali_cookie:** You’re close, I know it.

**Cali_cookie:** God knows I am. There’s a fucking river of precome all over my gut

**Cali_cookie:** I’ll bet you’ll be beautiful when you’re covered in your own come.

**Cali_cookie:** C’mon, baby, fuck yourself.

**Cali_cookie:** Scream my name.

**Cali_cookie:** Fucking come! 

**Bootsandall:** Hey, California

**Cali_cookie:** That was a long five minutes of silence, Oklahoma.

**Bootsandall:** Came when you wanted me too. I’m still covered in come.

**Bootsandall:** I‘ve just never fucking come like that in my life

**Cali_cookie:** Good?

**Bootsandall:** Steve’s still inside of me

**Bootsandall:** I can feel my ass still working him

**Cali_cookie:** Fuck.

**Bootsandall:** Your turn?

**Cali_cookie:** Please, dear God, please?

**Bootsandall:** I just tell you how it felt?

**Cali_cookie:** Trust me, it isn’t going to take a parade to please me.

**Bootsandall:** I did exactly what you told me to do, exactly when you told me to do it. And I’ll have you know that obedience is not something I’m known for.

**Bootsandall:** But two fingers straight in while I was working at my dick.

**Bootsandall:** It was too much, but even then I almost pulled my fingers out and stuck a third one in there straight away because the burn was almost like a tease: this is what you’re gonna get, won’t it be amazing?

**Bootsandall:** And it was.

**Bootsandall:** When you told me you were fucking yourself on the plug, doing the exact same thing I was, that alone almost set me off.

**Bootsandall:** I don’t know what you look like, but in my mind everything you describe to me is as clear as day.

**Bootsandall:** I wanted that third finger way before you told me to take it, but I waited. And when half my hand went into my ass I clenched my hand down around my dick so fucking hard

**Bootsandall:** All the pain did was make me realise I might have some more kinks I don’t know about yet.

**Bootsandall:** I was shaking when you told me to let go, I almost knocked Steve and the water all over the floor

**Bootsandall:** He was hot when I was lubing him, literally hot, I might not have slicked him as much as I should have though.

**Bootsandall:** I was kind of impatient

**Bootsandall:** I might have been cursing you when you said I couldn’t just slam him in there. 

**Bootsandall:** Because that’s what I wanted.

**Bootsandall:** Hard and fast like it would have been if it had been you and not some glass dildo with your name.

**Bootsandall:** I’ll bet you’re close right now, just trying to hang out until I tell you how I fucked myself.

**Bootsandall:** Was it hard? Did I tease?

**Bootsandall:** How loudly did I say your name?

**Bootsandall:** It was so fucking hard I’m not sure I’ll be able to sit tomorrow.

**Bootsandall:** I was banging that spot inside of me every damn time.

**Bootsandall:** Fuck teasing.

**Bootsandall:** Your name was loud. You’re still in my ass. I’m still covered in come.

**Bootsandall:** And you’d better be fucking coming, California. Just as hard, and loud and furiously as I did.

**Bootsandall:** My name had better be loud. I’d better still be in your ass and I’ll bet you look just as fucking beautiful flooded in come. 

**Cali_cookie:** You’re good.

**Bootsandall:** You’re better.

**Cali_cookie:** You’re playing with yourself again, aren’t you?

**Bootsandall:** Yeah I am.

**Bootsandall:** I’m not getting hard again, I don’t think I could, but there are a few new sensations I’m enjoying.

**Cali_cookie:** Oh fuck.

**Bootsandall:** I know.

**Cali_cookie:** We both need to shower.

**Bootsandall:** In a minute.

**Cali_cookie:** Can I ask you something serious?

**Bootsandall:** Of course.

**Cali_cookie:** Seriously, do you trust me?

**Bootsandall:** You have my home address, California. So yes, I trust you.

**Cali_cookie:** Do you have web cam and can I have your phone number?

**Bootsandall:** Yeah, I do, and if you want to.

**Cali_cookie:** I’m not gonna call you, not yet anyway. But I’d like to start off by texting you

**Bootsandall:** And the web cam?

**Cali_cookie:** I wanna see you come.

**Cali_cookie:** I want to know you’re watching me when I do the same.

**Bootsandall:** Okay.

**Cali_cookie:** Your number? Is it really okay?

**Cali_cookie:** Because I know what we said in our ads, not looking for love and not wanting to give more than I can.

**Cali_cookie:** But I like you.

**Cali_cookie:** Apart from the sex.

**Bootsandall:** How can you tell?

**Bootsandall:** That you like me, I mean.

**Cali_cookie:** I don’t think I could explain it, at least not so it would make any sense, but I just do.

**Bootsandall:** My number is 580 555-1776

**Cali_cookie:** Mine is 805 555-4711

**Bootsandall:** Okay.

**Cali_cookie:** Oklahoma, I won’t call you without warning you. Right now I’m talking some random texts, that’s all.

**Cali_cookie:** I promise

**Bootsandall:** I trust you, California

**Cali_cookie:** How do you feel about the web cam?

**Bootsandall:** You can use Skype, right?

**Cali_cookie:** Yeah, that’d work just nice for our next date

**Bootsandall:** I’ve gotta work the bar tomorrow night. My other barman, Mike, has the night off.

**Cali_cookie:** That’s okay, I’m not going anywhere, Oklahoma.

**Cali_cookie:** Don’t worry, okay? I won’t do anything you don’t want me too

**Cali_cookie:** And I won’t push.

**Bootsandall:** Thank you.

**Cali_cookie:** Now it’s time for us both to get cleaned up.

**Cali_cookie:** Let me know when the gift I sent you turns up.

**Bootsandall:** Still no clues?

**Cali_cookie:** Nope, sorry, Oklahoma, you’re just going to have to be patient

**Bootsandall:** Not a quality I’m known for.

**Cali_cookie:** I kind of already knew that.

**Bootsandall:** Ass.

**Cali_cookie:** If you say so.

**Bootsandall:** I’m gonna go, okay? 

**Cali_cookie:** Yeah, baby, go shower, get some sleep.

**Cali_cookie:** Text me, email me, tell me whatever

**Bootsandall:** I will.

**Bootsandall:** Thank you, darlin’.

**Cali_cookie:** You are very welcome, baby.

**Bootsandall has signed out of chat**

**Cali_cookie has signed out of chat.**

~*~

From: 805 555 4711 

Put me in your phone yet, Oklahoma?

From: Oklahoma

I had to shower before I touched my phone.

From: California

But I’m in there now, right?

From: Oklahoma

Yes. There are a lot of places you’re in now, California.

From: California

I’m hoping I’ll be in a few more before we’re done here, baby.

~*~

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: I’ve told everybody else…

And now I kind of wanna tell you too. 

My best friend, Dave, and his wife had a baby girl last night.

Bardot.

They have a little boy, Jaden, and they’ve been desperate to have another. I think it’s just kind of cool I get to spoil this one like a princess.

Yeah, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. It’s got nothing to do with sex, or what Mike and Jared have been up to, but I just wanted you to know.

Chris.

~*~

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: FWD: I’ve told everybody else…

Yeah, just ignore my last message, it’s nothing important.

~*~

~Christian’s POV~

“So, want to tell Sweet Mike what’s had you in such a good mood for the last couple of weeks, and in a fucking foul mood for the last twenty-four hours?”

All I can do it look up at the bartender standing in the doorway to my office with a vaguely horrified look on my face.

“’Sweet Mike’? I thought we agreed you wouldn’t rely on anything herbal when you were working, Rosey.”

“That’s okay, we also agreed that you would take the odd night off and date once in a while. It’s all kinds of wrong that I’m being a good little boy, and you still aren’t fucking dating.”

“Mike-“

“Christian.”

What happens next is basically you’re garden variety junior high staring match until Mike rolls his eyes and starts walking towards my desk, closing the door behind him. He doesn’t so much sit in the chair on the other side of my desk, he drapes himself not so artfully over it.

“Aren’t you meant to be working, asshole?”

“Jared’s got the bar, there are all of three customers since it’s like two in the afternoon and can you please just once stop deflecting like the president’s mistress at a press conference and just talk to me? We are still friends, right?”

Mike, despite his eccentricities, is my oldest and closest friend next to Dave and if he has to ask that question… 

“Have I been that much of an asshole?” 

“No, but you’re working up to it. Like I just said, talk to me, man.”

I guess I have to get used to telling people, and I might as well start with the person most likely to start hanging sparkly rainbows around my bar.

Now, if I just knew where to start. 

“I might have been kind of, sort of seeing somebody and I might have possibly, probably fucked it all up.”

When Mike squints like he is right now it make me wonder what he would look like if he was constipated. And just contemplating that makes me want to smack myself repeatedly.

With a baseball bat.

“You might have…and you probably… Don’t you fucking dare ever get on my back about the happy weed ever again, because you’ve got to be out of your fucking mind right now. Chris, man, you’re here more often that not, you turn down every goddamn woman that flaunts herself in front of you, which is pretty much every unattached female in town between the age of sixteen and sixty, hell, I’ve even seen the married ones make a play, and you sit there with a straight face telling me you’ve been seeing somebody? Bitch, please.”

One deep breath. I can do this.

“His name is Steve and I met him on the internet.”

I’ve known Mike for the better part of twenty years, and this is the very first time I’ve ever seen him speechless. He’s opening and closing his mouth like he wants to speak, but nothing is coming out.

Is it wrong of me to take a second to enjoy the calm before the shit storm starts?

“Are you fucking insane?”

A second is exactly what I got, too.

“Which part makes you think I’m insane?”

Mike actually stands up, before reaching across my desk to slap the side of my head.

“The internet part, you dick! I could care less if you’re suddenly all about penis love, though I would like to know how it came about, but seriously, picking guys up on the internet? Chris, for fuck’s sake, do you not have any kind of self preservation?”

All I can do is shrug.

“His name is Steve, he’s a chef in California. He’s about my age, my height, likes music and yes it’s naive of me, but I really don’t think he’s an axe murderer.”

“So he showed you a picture of some random male model and told you that’s what he looked like?”

“Nope, I have no idea what he looks like other than he’s blonde, has blue eyes and tattoos; we haven’t swapped pictures. We’ve just been chatting and emailing some.”

I’ll leave out the part about Steve having my home address and cell number for now.

“Okay, now I have to ask, how the fuck does this equate to seeing somebody? And better still how does this equate to you liking dick?”

If I can’t explain this to Mike of all people, there’s no hope anybody else will ever understand.

“The dick thing first. I’ve been…curious I guess is the word for years, but look around you, Mike, this is my home town. The girl I lost my virginity to comes in here once a week with her second husband. I went to school with him, and husband number one-“

“Okay, we agreed you’d never mention the fact you did the nasty with Cindy, didn’t we? Because, Christian, that’s still fucking gross.”

“I was fourteen, and can I please finish this? Because I need to get it out. I like girls, I just watch as much gay porn on the internet as I do straight porn on cable TV. I wanted to know, and I was never going to get the opportunity to find out in this town. So I placed an ad on a gay site that looked a little up market. Well, it didn’t turn my curser into a penis that trailed stars behind it as I moved it across the page.”

“You have such high standards.”

“Yeah, well, I hired you.”

“One of your better decisions, I must say.”

“Which is the exactly opposite of what Momma says when I turn up for Sunday lunch hungover.”

That gets us both smiling, because by some freak of nature my momma adores Mike.

“So you placed an ad?”

For anybody else that would be a serious conversation U turn. For Mike, it’s par for the course.

“Just saying I was curious, willing to experiment and didn’t want strings of any kind. I’d like about given up on wading through the crazies when Steve replied. It was just a normal email, Mike, and even in those first few messages it was easy, and kind of comfortable.”

There was an unexpected thrill in there too, but I’m the only one that needs to know that.

“And since then?”

“The censored version? I’m not curious anymore, I know, and as much as I don’t want to, I like him.”

“We’ll come back to the liking part, but, if this is working out for you, why the bear with the sore head routine?” 

Here goes nothing.

“All our chats have been about fucking with the odd story about you and Jared thrown into the mix. The night after Bardot was born I emailed him to tell him about her and then I couldn’t take it back. I said I wasn’t looking for love, he said he wasn’t looking for strings and none of that adds up to me telling him about Dave and Jamie’s princess.”

“He told you he wasn’t interested?”

Again with the shrugging.

“I don’t know, I haven’t checked my email in two days.”

There might also be a message or six on my phone.

When Mike’s hand meets the side of my head this time it fucking hurts!

“That fucking hurt!”

“For fuck’s sake, Kane, get over yourself. I swear I could fucking kill Whitney for leaving you thinking you can’t, and shouldn’t, do relationships, or that you don’t deserve them, or whatever your pea sized brain has come up with. If you like this guy, and he’s for real, just be yourself and see where it goes. If you can’t tell him about things like Bardot being born, forget him, even if what you’ve been doing is that good. You can always find somebody else if he isn’t right. But at the same time, give him a chance.”

Even as he’s standing up, I know Mike isn’t finished speaking.

“Get out of here, Chris, go home and check your email. But on your way home call by the post office, Julie rang and said there’s a package waiting for you to pick up, which is actually what I came in here to tell you in the first place.”

I’m me, I have to ask.

“The gay, bi, guy thing doesn’t bother you?”

“You’re Chris, I love you, you’re still an idiot. Nope, doesn’t bother me at all.”

As he finally moves to leave the room, Mike grabs my truck keys from the hook I keep them on and throws them at me.

“Get a move on, Kane, your computer’s waiting.”

~*~

The package’s from California.

The place and the man.

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: I’ve told everybody else…

That’s so cool, have you seen her yet? You sound kind of cute when you’re all doting and shit.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: FWD: I’ve told everybody else…

What do you mean ignore the last message?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Oklahoma?

What’s going on? Talk to me, man.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: FWD: Oklahoma?

I’m getting worried here. At least let me know you’re okay.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: FWD: FWD: Oklahoma?

Okay, I get it. 

No, actually I don’t. This is so not fucking cool, Oklahoma. If you’re done with me, at least have the fucking balls to tell me.

~*~

After that I check the messages on my phone.

~*~

From: California

Oklahoma? Where the fuck are you? What’s going on?

From: California

U fuckin prick.

~*~

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Hey

I’m sorry California, I’m just not up to thinking of some really smart-assed subject line right now. Because that’s what I’m emailing you for.

To tell you I’m sorry.

I don’t have any super fantastic reasons to give you, or an amazing story how Jared filled the whole bar with candy corn and I couldn’t get to my computer, all I have is…I freaked.

After I emailed you to tell you about Bardot being born, I started panicking. All I could think of was what I said in that original ad and your response. Not looking for love and not looking for expectations, and here I am rambling about fucking babies. I know you said I could email you about anything, but does this count? Do you want to hear about my life other than the odd fractured fairytale about the twin court jesters, Jared and Mike? Or does it boil down to sex and that’s about it?

See, I know what I said at the beginning, and I know we haven’t even met yet, but, fuck it, I like you.

A lot.

And that freaks me the fuck out. Not because you’re a guy, but because I have it on very good authority I suck at relationships, and you live in California, and…

Shit.

If I’ve fucked everything over, I’m sorry. I’ll respect your decision either way. I’m still gonna say thank you though.

Oh yeah, and your package arrived today. I’m not gonna open it until I know where I stand with you.

Take care of yourself, California.

Christian.

~*~

From: Oklahoma.

Check your email when you get the chance.

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Hey

You should have fucking talked to me, Oklahoma. 

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: Hey

I know.

Have I fucked everything over?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey

Not yet. But I don’t want to do this over email. If I call your cell will you answer?

~*~

From Oklahoma

Yes.

~*~

~Christian’s POV~

By the time my phone rings I’ve had two shots of whiskey, but it’d done fuck all to calm me. My heart is pounding when I answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Oklahoma.”

That’s all he says and he says it in the sweetest Californian whiskey drawl I’ve ever heard.

“Hey, California.”

“It’s nice to hear your voice, baby.”

Your voice may have me on my knees before this phone call is over.

“It’s kind of nice to hear you too, darlin’.” 

“Oh, I like that.”

I’m not sure what any of this has to do with me being a dick, but I’m happy to let Steve lead. 

Though calling him Steve feels kind of strange.

“I’d tell you I like you, but I’ve already done that.”

“So you have, Oklahoma, but right now you’re going to tell me what the fuck happened.”

“Do you want the whole story?”

“If that’s what I need, then yes.”

Here goes what could be a whole lot of something.

“I’ve only ever had one serious girlfriend, I thought about marrying her for about ten minutes or so, and to this day I don’t know what stopped me from asking her. I could have had the whole nine yards with Whitney, but, in the end, it just didn’t feel right. I broke it off right after that whole thought process, and it wasn’t pretty. Whiney told me in as many words as she could, and as loudly as she could, that I had nothing to offer a girl. I was a closed over, unfeeling, unlovable asshole. Though she may have used more colourful language than that.”

“Why would you believe that, Oklahoma? She’s only one girl.”

“If it wasn’t true, why didn’t I want to marry her? Why wasn’t I more romantic towards her? Why would I rather spend the night in my bar with Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber than I would with her?”

“Because she wasn’t the one? Because she lacked a penis? I don’t know, there’s a thousand reasons, Oklahoma. One chick doesn’t work out, okay, chalk it up to experience and move on. But you don’t take what she said when she’d just been dumped to heart. In the long run, that probably had very little to do with you.”

“Everybody told me-“

“It doesn’t fucking matter what everybody told you, what matters is what your *heart* told you and it said it wasn’t right. That doesn’t mean you’re, I don’t know, damaged goods or something.”

I don’t know what I’m meant to say here, so I got with the first thing that comes to mind.

“Did I tell you they named her Bardot?”

“Yeah, you did.”

The sound I hear is Steve smiling, I’m sure of it. And I think he gets that I’m not just changing the subject here.

“Have you seen her yet, Oklahoma?”

“No, not yet. David and Jamie live in L.A. and with Dave’s job they don’t get out here all that often. But just as soon as I drink enough to convince myself that Mike and Jared can look after the bar, I’m heading out. I miss Dave - and Jaden, and now there’s Bardot to spoil as well.”

“L.A. huh? Is this guy somebody you knew from school or something?”

I can’t stop myself from laughing at what’s coming next.

“Oklahoma, we’re not doing the sex thing tonight, so will you quit fucking laughing like that, because you sound like my favourite wet dream. So, c’mon, answer my question.”

“You’re gonna love this story. I quit college about six months in, drove to Los Angeles in a terminally ill truck with about five hundred dollars in my pocket. I was going to be a movie star or some such shit. Turns out there’s less manure on my parent’s farm than there is in the business so I came home, finished school and bought my bar. The only decent thing to come out of that year or so is that I met David. You might have heard of him, David Boreanaz, he’s on some TV show where he broods a lot…or was that the show before this one?”

“Your best friend is the guy from ‘Bones’?”

“Nah, my best friend is nowhere near as cool as that guy. My Dave is just a fucking dork, but his kids make him cooler.”

God, if my laughter sounded like Steve’s favourite wet dream, Steve’s laughter is what’ll be fuelling my dreams for the rest of, yeah, a very long time. 

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you, Oklahoma? You do know what this means though, don’t you?”

“Ummm, no.”

“If you’re coming out here, do you think you’ll be able to fit me in?”

That really hadn’t occurred to me. Why hadn’t that occurred to me?

“Are you near L.A.?”

“Fuck, yes.”

“I think…I think if I haven’t fucked us up, I’d like that.”

“You haven’t fucked anything up, baby, but next time, fucking talk me, okay? Because I’ll let you in on a little secret. I wasn’t looking for this, and I sure as fuck didn’t expect to find anything like you on the Internet, but I like you. A lot. And even though I have no idea where this is going, it’s going somewhere and I wanna see where that somewhere is. With you.”

“This thing, you and me, it’s freaking me out, you know that, right?”

“I know, but like I told you once before, don’t buy into everybody else’s shit and labels. If we’re okay with it, it’s okay. Shoulds and shouldn’ts have no fucking place here.”

“I can’t promise I won’t fuck up again.”

Just the opposite in fact, I think I can pretty much guarantee that I will fuck up time and time again, but he probably doesn’t need to know that right now.

“So? Oklahoma, I don’t know exactly what I’m doing here either. I’ve done relationships with both sexes, and even though I’m still friends with probably ninety five percent of those people, we were still failures as a couple. You’re different from all of them in so many ways, the least of which is the whole Internet/never met thing, that the only advantage I have over you is I know how it feels to fuck, and get fucked by, a guy.”

My laugh is surprisingly easy when it comes this time, and for the first time since I sent Steve the email about Bardot, it’s real. 

“I thought we weren’t doing the whole sex thing tonight.”

“We’re not, but that doesn’t mean it won’t get mentioned. Not when you sound like a walking, talking wet dream.”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather listen to you than me any day.”

“There’ll be time enough for both of us to listen all we want, believe me.”

“I think I’m going to come out and see Bardot, and the rest of Dave’s family, at the end of the month.”

The sharp turn in that conversation makes me think that I’ve spent too long with Mike. I need some normal friends, sane ones even, but I’ve suddenly made up my mind.

“You just decided that?”

“Yep. I’ll leave here around the 29th. It’s going to be the nearest thing to a vacation I’ve had in over a year so I’ll drive out. And before you say anything, fuck off, I like driving.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Bullshit. Every time I go to California, everybody I know tells me all about these new fangled things called airplanes.”

This time it’s Steve that laughs, and, fuck, why aren’t we doing the sex thing tonight?

“Okay, so I might have been going to say something, but I won’t. But it’s the 3rd now, so how about we just see how the rest of the month goes, and if everything is still good when you leave, maybe I can cook you dinner while you’re out here.”

“Aren’t you meant to take me to dinner?”

“Baby, if things go as well as I think they might, I’m not sharing one fucking minute I get with you by going out in public.”

Oh fuck.

“You keep saying no fucking tonight, but then you say shit like that. California, I’m hard, and I need to go jerk off unless you suddenly wanna do the whole phone sex thing?”

I don’t sound like I’m hopefully pleading there. Much.

“Not tonight, Oklahoma, tonight was about other things. But if you do go jerk off, and you happen to think about how I might be doing the same, you can always tell me about it later.”

“Fuck, yes.”

I’m getting used to the whole writing about fucking.

There’s just one more little, or huge, turn I need to make in the conversation.

“Steve? What happens from here?”

“We talk. About anything, everything. Babies, pets, workmates, employees, the weather, I don’t care as long as we talk. We’re gonna talk about sex too. We’ll get to that phone sex, and I want to do the whole webcam thing as well. There’ll be dirty texts, and emails and maybe even a photo or two. Did you get the package I sent you?”

“Yes. Today. I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Don’t. Not tonight. Do it tomorrow, or the next day, whenever you feel like it, but let me know when you do, and what you think about it.”

“I can do that.”

“I never doubted it for a second, baby.”

“I’m gonna go now. I need to shower, and jerk off. Or jerk off, shower and jerk off again, I’m still working on the order of things.”

“I’m going straight to the beating off thing myself.”

“Tell me about it later, darlin’?”

“You’d better fucking believe I will.”

For whatever reason I look down at my lap then and I’m actually surprised to see my hand softly clenching around the bludge in my jeans.

“I really have to go, Steve. Like now…unless you’ve changed your mine about-“

“I haven’t. Hang up. We’ll arrange a date for Monday later on.”

My hand’s not being so gentle anymore.

“Bye, California.”

“See you soon, Oklahoma.”

As soon as I hear the disconnection I forget all about the shower I was planning on, or even moving from the kitchen chair I’ve spent the last half hour sitting on. But I get the seat pushed back and my jeans off before I even realise it. This would be a hundred times more comfortable if I moved it to the living room, or my bed, or even the goddamn floor but that involves moving and that would take time, so no.

I know what California sounds like now, sex, drawl and easy, and that’s nothing but fuel for my fantasies. I have to be doing stuff and I have to be doing it now.

As soon as I wrap my hand around my cock I realise that yeah, I want to come, but I also want something to tell Steve about when I’m done so instead of just racing towards the finish line, one hand forms a loose glove around my dick that I can rock up into as I move it up and down, rubbing the precome that’s starting to leak from me over the head and along the shaft.

Fuck that feels nice.

My other hand comes up to my chest without asking my brain for permission. Not that there’d be any argument, all of me knows now that we like it and the pinch at my nipples is in time with the hand squeezing and stroking along my cock. I don’t know when my feet end up braced on the edge of my kitchen table, I don’t care, I just know it gives me the leverage to fuck up into my fist and at the same time it means I can do what my entire body is begging for. 

I feel so fucking empty.

Thankfully, the fingers I wet with barely enough spit and push straight into my ass fix that little problem. It’s not an entirely comfortable position but I’m fucked if I care. The fingers are there enough that I can push them in and out, scissor them open and closed, stroke my prostate, bump it, and the whole time I’m watching the hand around my cock move faster, squeeze harder, pulling out everything I like and doing it all. Twice.

What I wouldn’t give to be putting on this show for Steve, right here, right now.

Then I remember him telling me about how he slapped his cock and balls, and just as my fingers fuck in wishing they could grab hold of my prostate and squeeze, my hand slaps hard right at the weeping head of my dick and that’s it, it’s over. 

The table moves over a foot when I thrust upward while trying to get my fingers as far into my ass as I can and I’m just watching my cock erupt come over itself, my stomach, and my balls. There’s come on the floor, and my hand. I’m slouched down in the chair, feet still on the table and I just noticed my legs are spread leaving me open and in full view of the back door if anybody was to walk through it. 

I wish Steve would walk through it.

Before I change my mind, I wipe my come-covered hand on my shirt and pick my phone up, taking a picture of what I see. Legs, spent dick, come, disappearing from view arm, all of it.

Saving the picture, I try to remember how to make my legs work before standing and slowly, very slowly, walking upstairs to finally have that shower.

Two hours and three beers later I’ve written Steve an email, telling him everything including a few things I wasn’t really planning on mentioning, like how I’d never watched myself come before, not like that anyway. It was like I was a porn movie I’d paid for and wanted to get off on. I jerked off as again as I wrote the email, and I told him that too.

Just before I send the email, I send the picture I’d taken to his phone, telling him to check his email.

After everything, as much as I want to know what his response is, I’m fucked, and tired and I need to sleep.

Whatever Steve sends in reply will still be there in the morning, and that’s more than enough to give me very sweet dreams.

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: …

You…

That picture…

Fuck, baby, I need to think about how I’m going to repay you for that one.

After I spend some quality time with Brutus.

Again.

When you get here in a month, I’ll be the one walking funny.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re:…

Send me a picture?

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Not the picture you’re after…

Not yet at least, but I thought it was about time you at least “saw” me. I’m the one on the left, in the white shorts.

[](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v325/caarirose/?action=view&current=steve_bbq.jpg)

~*~

From: Oklahoma

That’s you? Fuck me, I’m at work and hard. A-FUCKING-GAIN!

From: California

Maybe you should open your package tomorrow morning. I’ll email you later baby. Work calls.

From: Oklahoma

Check your email when you get a chance.

~*~

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Me

I’m not a big one for having pictures taken, a fact my Momma hates, but this is me. It’s a not the best, but it’ll give you the idea. My hair’s probably longer right now, and you can’t see my body at all, but yeah, here you go.

Christian Kane.

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v325/caarirose/?action=view&current=christian-kane-david-mcdanie-for-bl.jpg)

Now do you understand why I didn’t want a dildo shaped like a candy kane?

~*~

From: California

Check your email before bed tonight, baby. Oh yeah, and it’s Carlson, Steve Carlson.

From: Oklahoma

Not to be confused with Bond, James Bond.

From: California

Fucking jerk. Now, seriously, I’ve got to fucking work.

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: The things you fucking do to me.

Not ugly? You seriously put that in your ad? Not fucking ugly?

You have don’t any fucking idea how sexy you are, do you? I mean, I was already lusting over your voice, but the rest of you? Fuck, man, when you get here, I’m not going to worry about eating food, I’m just going to fucking eat you.

Actually, now that I think about it, that’s a damn good idea I’ve got going there. Has anybody ever eaten you out before, Oklahoma? Rolled you over, spread your legs, spread your ass cheeks and then just dived right in, licking and biting at that sweet hole of yours. I’ll bet nobody has even done that to you before, not those sweet southern cowgirls, they don’t do that kind of thing, do they?

I’m not sweet, or southern, or a girl and, baby, I like it dirty. I want to get my tongue in your ass and fuck you until you’re begging for my cock, then when I’m done, I eat your fucked out hole until you’re ready to go again. I know there’ll be condoms, but fuck, I can’t help but fantasise that there’ll be come leaking from your ass for me to play in.

But you know about my come playing fetish already, don’t you, Oklahoma?

Will you let me fuck you, Christian? Because I want you to fuck me.

I want it all with you, in as many ways as I can get it. There’ll probably be a few that we’ll have to invent ourselves as well.

You should see me, baby, sitting here with Christian in my ass. That means I’m slouching down a little with my legs kind of spread, but not much though, I want to know he’s there inside of me. I’ve got one hand just sort of…teasing I guess as the other types and I’m staring at the pictures. 

Tell me what you were doing when the clothed one was taken?

I know what you were doing when the other one was taken. It was right after you’d gotten off the phone to me, wasn’t it? You didn’t even get off the chair you were sitting in, did you? I fucking **love** that I get to you that much, that you had to get off then and there. Fucking yourself with your legs spread like an open invitation to come and get you. 

Seriously, please tell me you’ll bottom, I need to be the first to fuck you. The one you’ll never forget.

Okay, not teasing myself so much anymore. God, my hand and this butt plug feel good, but I already know you’d feel so much better.

You know what gets to me most about that picture though, baby? Not the come, or the fact you’ve still got your fingers in your ass, or even where and how your legs are, what gets to me more than anything is the fact you sent it to me in the first place. You said you watched, you know how fucking debauched you looked, and you let me see.

I’ve got to come, Christian. I’m sitting up now, straight, riding the butt plug like I’d ride you. Oh fuck, god…hang on…

God I wish it was your come I was sucking from my fingers right now.

Phone sex or webcam for our next date night, baby, you chose.

Call me tomorrow, before you open your package, and before you go to work.

Sweet dreams.

~*~

The picture he sends me to tell me I have an email waiting is of his mouth, open, as he pushes his come slicked fingers inside.

The email has Steve the dildo so far up my ass I can feel him in my gut.

~*~

From: Oklahoma

Steve’s not fucking big enough anymore.

From: Oklahoma

And fuck yes I’ll bottom.

~*~

The morning I woke up after that first night with Steve, the man and the dildo, I was sore. I mean it fucking hurt, but I fucking loved it. Every time I moved, sat, whatever, I knew exactly what I’d been up to the night before and I’ve never had that with a girl. It made me hard and it gave me pretty much total recall about the entire night.

This morning that feeling is there, but it’s not the same. And I don’t think it’s just that I’ve become very good friends with that dildo.

I want a cock. A hard, thick dick that’s attached to a hard, blonde Californian.

How in hell am I going to last another four fucking weeks?

Well, firstly, I’m going to buy a bigger fucking dildo.

I’ve got a couple of hours before I have to go to work, which means I’ve probably got about half an hour before I call Steve.

That’s enough time.

~*~

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Told you

Steve wasn’t big enough anymore.

I’ve been shopping.

<http://male.stockroom.com/Tantus-Pi-Silicone-Vibrator-P3687.aspx>

<http://male.stockroom.com/Blue-Jelly-Anal-Beads-P116.aspx>

<http://male.stockroom.com/Deluxe-Adj-Nipple-Clamps-P582.aspx>

They promised to have them here by Monday for date night. Want to teach me about them?

Which is phone sex by the way. I’m gonna need to be laying down.

It’s time to call you now, darlin’.

~*~

The package’s on my bed when I dial Steve’s number, just waiting. 

Kind of like me, really, because I don’t remember Christmas morning being anything quite like this. This is so much better.

“Hey, Oklahoma.”

“Hey, darlin’. You sound tired.”

What time is it out there? What time does he finish his shift?

“Fuck, did I wake you? I can call back later if you want?”

“Hey, Christian, stop. Yeah I’m a little tired, somebody kept me up last night, and, no, you didn’t wake me. I asked you to call.”

“I don’t want you fucking up your sleep for me.”

“I’m not, I promise. The shifts I work can vary but being a weekend I’m working two to eleven tonight so I can get a few more hours when we’re done. Mike or Jared opening for you today?”

“Jared, yeah. I’m on all day, Mike’ll be in tonight and we have a couple of part timers around for the weekend as well.”

“So it’s mostly just the three of you full time?”

“Yeah. We could probably do with a cook to bring in some more trade and more staff, we have the facilities, but I’m kind of scared who would apply if I advertised in this town, so I haven’t gotten around to it.”

It’s then I realise Steve’s doing this on purpose, talking about nothing important, letting me relax, telling me without words it’s just him and me here.

“I like talking to you, California. Like this I mean, not just…fuck it, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, Oklahoma, I know. And I like it too.”

“Good.”

Real fucking good.

“So, I’m guessing tonight’s one of the busier nights you have, right?”

I know Steve well enough now to realise the conversation has shifted now.

“Yeah, it is. I’ll be on the go until I fall down.”

“Okay, so when you open the package, I want you to know you’re allowed to tell me ‘no’, okay?”

“Steve-“

“No, Christian, I’m serious. You don’t want to do this, you say ‘no’. And if you do, there’s no harm, no foul, okay? We’ll just do it some other time. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Open the box, baby.”

The plain brown wrapping gives easily enough and when I get the package open I realise it’s from the same on-line store my dildo came from, the one my other stuff is coming from.

What I find inside is black, about six inches long and looks like fucking fun. Or torture. Which one it ends up being entirely depends on Steve I guess.

“It’s a butt plug, right?”

There’s a sweet, soft laugh down the phone line and I’m guessing it’s at the fact I made that sentence a question.

“Yeah, Christian, that’s exactly what it is. But I just remembered something so there’s one more question I have to ask before I see if you want to play with it.”

Yeah, I’m not following this part of the conversation at all.

“What is it?”

“Do you have any underwear at all? Like for doctor’s visits, or emergencies or something?”

“Yeah, I have about two pairs of boxer briefs. I think.”

There’s a tone of confusion riddled through my voice right now and I know it.

“Are you dressed for work yet?”

“Yeah, but do we have –“

“Shh, you’re thinking too much. Not to mention talking too much. So you’re going to be quiet and I’m going to tell you what I’d like to do with that little plug. I want you to go find one of those two pairs of briefs, lay them on the bed then strip off your jeans. I want you to lube that plug up real good, before prepping yourself just enough to push it inside. Then I want you to put those boxers on before getting back into your jeans. And that’s how I want you to go work.”

“With a plug up my ass?”

“For the entire time you’re at the bar, yeah.”

“Can I come?”

Like in the next ten minutes before I’m already more than half way hard and just the thought of putting on jeans right now is a whole different form of torture than Steve and his silicone sex toy.

“If you want. But I have one more condition. It’s Saturday night, we have a standing date for Monday, you can text me, or email me whatever you want in the way of pictures or words, but you can’t tell me what happens tonight with you and your new toy. Because that’s gonna be part of our phone sex fun on our date.”

Throw that together with the new toys I bought by myself and California doesn’t know about yet…

“Okay.”

“That’s it? Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. But you’re wearing a plug to work tonight as well. One a little bigger than normal, because every time it moves inside of you, I want you knowing that that’s what I’m feeling as well. I want something to get off to on Monday that’s about you as well as me.”

“Christian won’t stay inside me at work. Pyrex isn’t good for that.”

“So wear something else. I know you have other toys, darlin’, and I don’t care who you thought of before when you played, I know exactly who you’ll be thinking of tonight.”  


“I have something that’ll work.”

Don’t I fucking know it.

“So, I’m going to get ready now. You’ll be hearing from me, darlin’, and I’d better be hearing something back.”

“You will. Talk to you Monday, Oklahoma.”

“Monday, California.”

Both of us disconnect then and I’m pulling my jeans off as quick as I can without doing some major damage to my now completely hard dick. Before Steve, I would have told you my sex drive was average for a thirty five year old male. With Steve I’ve left average behind in the dust.

The idea I get when I’m about ten second from coming shorts my brain, but it’s going to blow Steve’s mind when I tell him what I did.

Fifteen minutes later I’m sending him a picture of my jean-clad ass at a fucked up angle with the subject line of ‘You know what’s under these, don’t you?’

Holy fuck, I’m going to work with a butt plug in my ass. And it’s staying there.

All night.

I come in the underwear I hate wearing about eleven and there was jerking off in my office after that.

Mike did ask what was up my ass at once stage. I just smiled and he retracted the question.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Told you

You bought a vibrator? And anal beads? 

And fucking nipple clamps?

And you want me to teach you how to use them???

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: Told you

Yep.

~*~

From Oklahoma:

I’m out of lube.

From California:

Please tell me you ordered more with your other…supplies.

From Oklahoma:

Yep. The warming kind.

From California:

Is it Monday yet?

From Oklahoma:

One more sleep, darlin’. One more wet dream.

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: This is the next thing we’re buying

<http://male.stockroom.com/Silicone-Cock-Ring-P3012.aspx>

And it’ll be one for each of us so I’ll actually fucking last longer than three seconds when I finally have you under me. I’m going to turn the heat right up, and you’ll be naked and spread over as much of my bed as possible. I want every inch of your skin available to be touched, kissed…and then when I’m done with your front, I can turn you over and start all over again with your back. 

I want my bed filled with nothing but memories of you, and me, and sex.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: You know…

I was pretty vanilla before I met you.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: You were…

Straight too.

Isn’t this a whole lot more fun?

~*~

From: Oklahoma

Fuck yes!

~*~

“Hey, baby.”

My cock now has a total Pavlovian response to Steve’s voice. He speaks, I get hard. Even when his voice has the slightly tinny sound that comes with hands free.

“Hey, darlin’.”

“You sound a little worked up already there, Christian. You starting without me?”

“Not exactly. I was just thinking how your voice makes me pretty much instantly hard.”

“I do love the sound of that, no pun intended. Want to give me a chance to catch up?”

“Maybe. How about I set the picture for tonight first? I didn’t even bother getting dressed after my shower tonight, knowing I’d be talking to you and what we’d be getting up too. So I’m laying here on my bed, my legs spread with one knee bent up and I’m hard. There’s some toys and lube beside me and I might be playing with my nipple as I’m speaking. I haven’t come today, I’ve been saving it for you.”

And considering what else I got up to today, that’s a damn fine accomplishment.

“Fuck me you sound hot, baby, and I can just see you spread over your bed. I’m naked as well, half hard and damn near desperate to do something. I’m that fucking horny I don’t know where to start.”

“I shaved myself tonight, Steve, I’m smooth and bare and wondering how getting waxed would feel. You might like to get bitten, I think I might like a little pain.”

“Fuuuuuuuck, Christian.”

“I got hard and I wanted to jerk off so bad, but then I decided I wanted you to be there when I did. Are you getting harder, Steve? Do you want me to tell you what happened when I wore the plug to work?”

“I, fuck, baby, I wanted to talk to you, about other stuff, but you’re making that…impossible.”

“I don’t mind, darlin’, I want to be with you like this just as badly as you do. We can talk…later.”

I was a good boy in the shower, but the second I heard Steve’s voice there was no delaying this.

“Tell me. Please.”

“He’s smaller than Steve, so I honestly didn’t think that little plug would affect me as much as it did. I didn’t take into consideration his shape, did I, darlin’? But you did, and you knew I’d be on edge from the second I slipped him inside me. Of course I had to jerk off before I even got that far, that’s how bad you fucking get to me, but do you wanna know a secret, Steve? I fingered my ass with real lube to slick myself up, but the plug? I smothered that in my come.”

There’s a whimper, and a moan down the phone line and, oh yeah, Steve has a sweet little come fetish.

“He was white with my come when I slid him into my ass, darlin’, and I knew how much you’d love that. Do you like rimming, Steve? Eating a fucked out ass? Will you teach me how to do that?”

“I’ll take…fucking pictures and draw diagrams…fuck, Chris.”

“I think it’s my turn to be in control for a bit, don’t you? Stop playing with that lovely cock of yours, Steve and pick a toy out to fuck yourself with. I’ll let you do that much while I keep telling you my story.”

Is it weird that I like this? Telling Steve what I want him to do? I’d care, only I don’t.

“Wanna lube Brutus with your come before I j-jam him up my ass.”

“Later, darlin’, for the moment just get him inside you, but you have to tell me what you’re doing.”

“I’m t-trying to prep my ass…but I’m fucking it up because I’m h-hurrying. I’ve got…two…oh fuck, three fingers in me and they’re stretching me…”

“Don’t be hurting yourself, Steve.”

“I won’t, but…fingers out now, hang on…”

It takes two hands to lube a dildo the size of Brutus, even I can work that out.

“Fuck, Christian, he’s in me now, I’m leaking…can I move him while you talk?”

“As long as you let me hear it, California. While you were getting yourself all full, you should know I have the vibrator in me now, I’m just not gonna turn it on until it’s your turn to talk.”

I’ve discovered I like the feeling of something just being there, in me, stretching me, I love the anticipation of what’s to come.

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m fucking myself now, baby, talk to me, tell me what happened after you put a come lube butt plug in that ass I cannot fucking wait to fuck and eat and fuck some more.”

I might have also discovered I love Steve’ fucking filthy mouth.

“I went, and even started, work like all good bosses do, Steve. But do you know how fucking distracting it is to have something inside of me, at work, while I was thinking about you? I was wondering what I’d be telling you about tonight, already trying to sex it up, and then I started thinking about what you were gonna be telling me in that fucking sexy voice of yours, how could I not get hard? Right there behind my own bar, customers already being served and a crash from the storeroom reminding me Jared was working with me today as well. But I was like a teenager with a hard-on for his favourite teacher, there was no stopping it. Apparently there was no stopping me either, because you know what I did, darlin? I sat on the edge of my stool, shifting to see if I could feel the plug pressing up into me. Oh fuck me, could I? It was meant to be a little tease, for me and for you, I figured I could stop, but it was rubbing me right *there* _,_ and yeah, stopping was no fucking option at all. Sinking my teeth into my lip was all I could do as I rocked on the stool, fingers clenched around the edge of the bar, just hitting that spot over and over thanking God Mike wasn’t working, because he would have worked out what I was doing. My teeth actually broke the skin when I blew my load right there, in the underwear that for once I was glad I was wearing, because I knew if I unclenched my jaw I’d be saying your name. Loudly. I could feel come trickling down, tickling my balls. That’s when I decided to shave myself bare. You like my dick covered in come, don’t you, Steve?”

“Fuck, yes, oh god, let me…I’m sitting up now, baby, riding this fucking d-dildo…oh fuck yes your come…fuck…”

“You’re so close, aren’t you, California? I can live with the come if it gets to you this much, but tangled with pubes was gross, so no more pubic hair. I cleaned myself up just enough and left your little friend right where he was, Steve. Two hours later I was in my office, naked from the waist down, my feet braced on my desk as I jerked off again. I found just the right position so the plug was right against my prostate and as soon as you come you can check the picture I just sent to you phone. C’mon, Steve, let me hear it.”

It’s all I can do to keep my hands away from myself as Steve curses and moans. I can hear the sound of skin on skin and the mantra of my name louder and louder until there’s nothing but constant sound.

Then there’s nothing but harsh panting breaths. Steve’s as well as mine.

“Just…just let me check my phone. And don’t you dare touch yourself, baby.”

As I listen to the sound of movement I can’t help but picture the sight waiting for him. My cock hard and drooling, with one hand tightly squeezed around my balls. It’s slightly out of focus, but I think he’ll get the point.

“Hey, Oklahoma, I’m back. And if I wasn’t already fucked dry that picture would have me ready to sit up and beg. I have to tell you though, I fucking love this minor thing you have for sending me home-made porn.”

“Never even considered doing anything like that before you.”

Not that that’s stating the obvious or anything.

“I like that too. Ready for your turn, baby?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

A little past ready even.

“Get yourself all comfortable, Oklahoma. Spread over your bed, your legs apart just enough, and remember, no touching, not yet. You keep surprising me, Christian. The porn pictures, the dirty talk, buying sex toys you have no idea exactly what do to with, and fucking hell, I love it. I love that nobody else has a clue about this you because you’re a gentleman and there’s no way on this earth you’ve let this side of you out when you were with a lady. Tell me how right, I am, Christian.”

“I like…not being a gentleman for once.”

And I’m kind of surprised Steve gets that.

“There are no gentlemen here, baby. Just me with my potty mouth and you with a brand new toy filling your ass. Don’t turn the vibrator on yet, just use it to start fucking yourself while I tell you a story.”

Sliding a pillow under my hips, I grab hold of the vibrator and start to move it, not all the way, in and out just enough so it drags the muscle gripping the toy back and forth.

“Oh fuck, yes.”

“That’s it, baby, let me know you’re enjoying yourself. Anyway, my story. When I’ve got you on my bed, under me, because you know damn well you’ll be under me to start with, I’m going to deep throat that beautiful dick you keep sending me pictures of, making it wet with spit and precome. I’m going to suck you so hard, and while I do, I’m going to pinch those sweet nipples of yours, tug on your balls and I am going to do everything I can to get you so fucking close…but you’re not coming down my throat, not the first time I blow you because as soon as I fell the tightening of your smooth, bare balls, I’m pulling off. I wanna finish you with my hand, get come over every part of you that I can. Then you can watch, talk to me, while I jerk myself off and when you’re covered in my come as well I’m going to drive us both batshit crazy while I lick up every single drop.”

I’m way past teasing myself with the vibrator anymore, every time I push it forward my hips are bucking up to meet it.

“Steve, fuck…darlin’, I need…”

“Push that vibrator in, Oklahoma, make sure the tip is pressed into your prostate and then you can turn it on, baby.”

The second I turn the toy on, I’m in a whole new world of sensation and waves of it are rolling through me. The sound I make is loud, strangled and like nothing I’ve even heard before.

And so much of that new world is nothing but Steve.

“F-f-fuck!”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I want to hear. Go on, fuck yourself good and proper, making sure you hit that spot over and over. Do you need to touch yourself, baby? Or can you get off on a toy and my voice?”

“K-keep talking.”

“Ohhh, you’re gonna try it this way, huh? You know what, Chris, I think you’re a bit of a cock slut and I think you’re gonna enjoy bottoming more than you ever thought possible. Imagine sitting on me, spread open riding my cock while I’ve got Brutus inside of me. I can clamp your nipples, pull on the chain and see if you really do like a little pain. When you come on me, this time I think it’ll be your turn to do the licking.”

I’m a hair’s breadth from coming, but something is missing. I can’t find the trigger.

“D-don’t wanna t-touch…”

“Keep listening and fucking yourself then. When you think you’re all done, Christian, I’m going to lay you down, get Brutus in your ass and I think I’m going to take some candle wax, some nice hot candle wax, to those naked balls of yours. I’m gonna shave them myself. I’ll let it splash onto that pink skin, drop by burning drop. I could slip you know, Oklahoma, and your cock is just there-“

“FuckfuckfuckFUCK!”

Steve might have been going to say something else, but, yeah.

“That’s it, baby, come. Come hard and messy, keep fucking yourself, work yourself through it, but don’t touch - that’s it, so fucking beautiful, and the sounds you’re making, god. When you’ve come back down, Oklahoma, turn your toy off but leave it inside of you. Imagine it’s me.”

“Oh fuck me.”

“Yes, please. But I don’t think there’s anyway in hell I’m going again in the next hour at least.”

That makes two of us, though, personally, I’m probably gonna need at least two hours and a nap.

Leaving the now still vibrator inside me, I bring my hand up, dragging it through the come on my stomach. I might exaggerate the sounds I make as I lick it from my fingers, but I don’t think Steve’s going to call me on it.

“Are you…Fuck, Oklahoma, did you not hear me before? I cannot go again.”

“I can’t wait to taste you. And us.”

“You’re killing me.”

I’m only laughing because I’m already dead.

“I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this bed, California. I can’t feel my legs.”

“How’s your ass?”

“Sore, full, good.”

A hot shower when I can move won’t go astray.

“What’s your week looking like?”

“I’ve been putting off my book work so my week is looking decidedly horrible. Lucky for me I have somebody that’ll help break the tedium yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Rolling my shoulders, I take the phone off of hands free, wanting to spend my last few minutes with Steve with him in my ear.

“What about you, darlin’? Busy?”

“We have a private party booked Saturday, which is always painful, and I’m working a split shift on Sunday. So a little on the busy side.”

Steve smothers a yawn as he finishes and yeah, we’re still guys.

“C’mon, time to hang up, California. Showers and bed.”

“I’ll call sometime this week, and you’ll be hearing from me.”

“Me too, darlin’. Go sleep, dream of me.”

“Just what my sheets need, another wet dream.”

“I’ve taken to humping my pillow.”

“Lucky pillow.”

I’m the one yawning now.

“Okay, bed. Night Oklahoma, look after yourself for me.”

“You too, California. Night.”

Like a girl I wait until Steve has disconnected before I hang up. When I finally do, I just lay there for a minute, closing my eyes, relaxing into the kind of pleasant aches.

In the end I take an unplanned nap before I shower. It doesn’t stop me from sleeping like the dead though. I keeping trying to tell myself good sex will do that for you. I don’t think I’m being all that successful.

~*~

_Hey, you’ve called Christian, leave a message._

Hi baby, no I wasn’t expecting you to answer, I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. Talk to you soon, Oklahoma.

~*~ 

From: Oklahoma

I need to hire real staff.

From: California

You wouldn’t know what to do with real staff.

From: Oklahoma

Yeah I would. Fire them. Apparently I prefer idiots.

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: It occurred to me…

That for all you’ve told me, and you’ve probably told me more than you think, I haven’t exactly over-shared with you. Time to change that I think.

Let me tell you about the love of my life, my Mom. 

She’s nuts.

Have I ever mentioned I’m an only child? Well, I am, and apparently, according to my mom, I have sharing issues. I explained to her that if this was the case it’s her fault and she should have had ten other children to teach me how to share (ten siblings would also give her some other lives to meddle in, but I left that part out). Mom didn’t appreciate my logic, and she threw a bread roll at my head. The roll hit the dog, Mom throws like a girl.

In hindsight, I should have known Mom was up to something when she invited me to lunch yesterday. Especially when she kept calling me until I woke up, and then still didn’t stop until I actually answered the phone. Anybody would think she knew I was laying there watching the damn phone ring or something.

Anyway, lunch, alcohol and then when I was completely relaxed into my false sense of security the beautiful, insane woman pounced.

‘Tell me about the guy you’re dating, Stevie.’

And just like that I was caught. Two thousand, give or take a hundred, questions later my mother now knows probably more than she wanted to know about you. She only stopped with the interrogation when I had to leave to go to work.

I am now officially scared of the favourite lady in my life, because I don’t have the vaguest clue how she even knew to ask me about you!

It was kind of nice to spend the afternoon talking about you though.

Okay, I’ve had three beers and I’m falling asleep at the keyboard.

Night, baby.

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: It occurred to me…

All mothers are psychic. It’s the only way I’ve ever been able to explain how mine knew to clip me over the ears as I walked through the door the night I lost my virginity.

It’s a trauma I will never, ever recover from. 

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: Re: It occurred to me…

Mom handed me half a dozen condoms before I left the night I lost mine. I don’t allow myself to wonder how she arrived at the number six.

~*~

From: Oklahoma

Did you use them?

From: California

In two nights. Julie…then Andrew.

From: Oklahoma

We’ll need more than six.

From: California

Baby, we’ll need more than six *each*

~*~

“I feel like an idiot.”

It’s Monday night, I’m on the phone to Steve, but I’m also sitting in front of my computer and wondering why I ever thought this would be a good idea.

“Just accept the video chat request and hang up the phone, Christian. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I won’t be disappointed if all we do is talk.”

“Yeah. Okay. Hanging up now.”

Clicking my mouse at the same time I disconnect my phone, there’s a second or three of lag but then there he is.

Steve.

Bed head hair, tanned skin and fucking amazing blue eyes.

Steve.

Of course his voice echoes, the video jerks, but still.

“Hey Oklahoma.”

There’s a smile when he says the nickname and I fucking swear it makes his eyes actually twinkle.

“Hey yourself, California.”

“Still feel like an idiot?”

“Yeah, but I don’t seem to mind as much now that I can see you.”

“I know what you mean. This feed is shit and you still look fucking amazing.”

I’ve never known what to say to that kind of comment and I doubt I’m going to work it out here so I’m just going to work on the whole subject changing thing.

“How’s your week been, darlin’?”

“Good. Busy. Long. It needed more of you.”

“How much more of me, Steve?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t reached my fill yet. So all I know is want more.”

Yeah, me too.

“So, wanna tell me what we’re gonna do tonight, darlin’?”

“When you speak, I can always tell when you’re starting to get horny. Your accent gets thicker, so does the tone of your voice, and your words aren’t quiet as proper any more.”

“Yeah, well, it’s your voice that gets me like this, so you’ve got nobody else but yourself to blame.”

“I should fucking hope so. I don’t want you getting hard for anybody but me, and from what I can see, you do look awful hard.”

“That was awfully fucking cheesy.”

“Yeah, so? What’re you going to do about it?”

“This.”

I know when I stand up, Steve can’t see my face anymore, but I don’t think he’ll complain too much, because when I take off my shirt he gets a good view of naked chest and the fact that my jeans are undone and riding more than a little low.

“Holy fuck.”

“I take it you saw something you like?”

“You are…fuck, baby.”

“Your turn to show me some skin, California.”

He doesn’t stand up, just reaches his arms up and strips off his shirt. His skin is brown and bare and I can see the ink on his arms that I want to bite at so fucking much…

“I wanna touch you, darlin’, so bad…show me what I’m missing, please?”

We’ve already agreed that there won’t be any toys tonight, it’s going to be all us. 

“Like this, Oklahoma?”

Yes, I actually lean closer to my computer screen to watch Steve’s fingers play over his chest before they stop to play with his nipples. From the look on his face right now, Steve might have been understating how much he likes that.

“Just like that. Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

“Are you just going to sit there and watch, Christian? This time we actually get to play together.”

My own hand shifts to my jeans, rubbing at my hardening cock as I watch Steve move. He is, without a doubt, the most sensual creature I’ve ever seen.

“I’m kind of happy watching you.”

“Are you at least touching yourself, baby? I can’t see that low down.”

“Fuck yes. I’ve got the world’s best live porn feed here, I’m not made of stone.”

“You look like you are. Muscle upon muscle, and your fucking arms are amazing…what do you want to see, Christian?”

“I don’t care as long as I’m looking at you. I need to…”

After everything I’ve done with Steve, all of which I’ve never done before, what I’m about to do still has me taking a deep breath or three.

“You need to what?”

“This.”

As I stand up I bump the camera part of my laptop down until I know Steve can see my crotch, then hoping like hell he’s watching, I push my jeans down showing him that I really do hate underwear, Wrapping my hand around my cock I slowly start to rub my palm along it, spreading precome everywhere.

“Watching, darlin’?”

“What the fuck do you think?”

“I think my legs are going to give out in a second.” 

“Before you sit down…show me that thing you like, show me exactly how you do it.”

Yes, I know what he means. Fisting my hand along my dick just once, I stop at the head, wrapping my hand around it and just squeezing. I can feel myself throb in time with my heart, I know I’m thrusting up into my hand, pushing for more. Then my legs do give out on me and I have to sit. When I look at Steve again, I can see his bicep moving as his hand jerks and I just smile and hold my hand closer to the camera so he can how slick it is as I readjust the screen.

“Fucking love having my cock squeezed.”

Then I’m licking at my palm, tasting the precome there as well as adding enough slick.

“You are incredible, baby. Tell me what you taste like to yourself.”

The hand I’ve just wet goes back to my dick, squeezing a little more before I just start to loosely fist myself.

“I’m not imagining it’s my come when I taste it, Steve, so I’m hoping I taste like you.”

“I can’t wait to be on my knees for you, sucking you dry.”

“I’ll bet you’re beautiful with a mouthful, darlin’.”

“You have no fucking idea. I am so fucking hard, Chris. All I have is your voice, a video link that won’t show me all of you, and I don’t see how I could get any fucking hornier.”

“Bet I can do it…get you harder.”

I’m not teasing myself now, my hand’s movements have a purpose and just thinking about what I’m about to say to Steve is getting to me.

“T-think so?”

“Yeah. P-picture this…oh fuck…This time it’s me on my knees, sucking your dick, letting you fuck my face as I fuck my fist…”

I have to stop to swallow, but I also have to grab some lube. Steve moans as he watches and I hear the sound of a light slap.

“You’re smacking your balls, aren’t you? H-how far apart are you legs?”

“Far enough for you to fit between them, and yes,” there’s another slap “you know what I like…”

“Yeah, I do…which is why when I’m blowing you and you warn me you’re about to come, because I know you will…my hand will be covered in my come and I’m going to pull off of you, finish you with my come covered hand and let you come all over my face.”

“Fuck, fuck, oh fuck. Your face…oh fuck, harder, closer…I can lick you c-clean…your hand…y-your f-face…oh fuck, baby…please.”

It’s not exactly easy to talk right now, but I can try.

“Your face is fucking beautiful right now, Steve…I wanna see what it’s like…keep picturing me, a virgin on my knees, come on my lips, my chin…”

“Christian!”

The second Steve yelps my name I’m pulling on myself for all I’m worth, because, fuck yeah, I want to be exactly how I described myself. I want come everywhere by the time we’re done.

Steve must have come down enough to do his own watching and I can hear him begging to see so without thinking about it, I stand back up and let him see my fingers stripping along my cock. My other hand ends up grabbing the back of the chair, keeping me upright as I start to come. My fingers keep moving, spreading come everywhere as I shake and the whole time I can hear Steve saying words like ‘amazing’ and ‘incredible’. Finally, I can’t stand my touch anymore so my fingers fall away, but I don’t sit down, not until I’ve given Steve a view of my cock come-covered and spent.

I fall back into my seat.

“Fuck, California, I do th-things for you I would never, n-never have done before.”

“I know…believe me, I know. You do realise I have to have you that way, just once while you’re out here, don’t you?”

The smile I give Steve is completely free and easy.

“I know. I can’t wait.”

“Fuck I need a shower.”

“Me too.”

I’m just not ready to stop talking to him yet.

“C’mon, Oklahoma, shut the computer down, have a shower, grab a beer and I’ll call you in, say, twenty minutes?”

“Sounds like a plan to me, California.”

“See you twenty, Chris.”

Fifteen minutes later, I’m laying on my bed, cold beer and a roast beef sandwich in hand, waiting for Steve’s call.

I can sleep all day tomorrow if I have too.

~*~

From: Oklahoma

I hate people.

From: California

Would you like to elaborate some?  
  


From Oklahoma

No

~*~

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: I’m sorry

Hey darlin’

I really am sorry if I worried you this afternoon. It’s just been a long couple of days with me trying to get ready to leave. It’s like everybody thinks I’m leaving town forever and they just have to catch up with me about something that could have been settled six months ago but can’t wait another second.

I’m going on vacation, not fucking dying.

The bar is pretty much under control, Mike and Jared are actually behaving like grown men, but the last straw was when my ex came in to declare we should give us another try. I like Whitney well enough, but I made a huge mistake dating her the first time around, why the fuck would I repeat it? Even without the whole you thing.

That’s about when you got the text message, and yeah, I’d just had enough.

The good news is I think everything is actually on track and unless Oklahoma suddenly sinks into nothingness I’ll be leaving Tuesday morning.

I need a holiday, a cuddle or two from David’s babies and his wife and you.

I’m going to go to bed now, be good, darlin’.

Night.

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Re: I’m sorry

I won’t lie, I was kind of worried and I’ll be even more honest - I’m still not one hundred precent reassured.

Are you sure you’re okay? With the whole Whitney thing, us thing? You sound tired and stressed and I’m not here to add to that.

Try to relax, baby, look after yourself.

I’ll help you with both of those things when you get here

~*~

From: Oklahoma

I am abso-fucking-lutely okay with you and us.

From: California

And Whitney?

From: Oklahoma

Is a complete non issue. My ass is yours.

From: California 

You’d better believe it.

~*~

_‘Hi, you’ve called Steve and you know what to do.’_

Hey, darlin’. I know you’re at work, but I just wanted you to know I’m not having seconds thoughts. Yeah, I’m coming to see Bardot and Jaden, but that’s not the only reason. I need this vacation because I need you as well. Take care of yourself, California, you’re going to need the stamina. 

~*~

“Hey, Oklahoma. You’re calling early.”

As soon as I hear the ‘Hey, Oklahoma’ Steve always answers my calls with, his voice soothes every nerve that’s been grated on by Jared, Mike and my own slight panic.

“Hey, darlin’. How’re you doing?”

For the first time since we started these date nights, I’m on my bed and still mostly dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. This isn’t really how I wanted tonight to start off, there’s normally flirting and sex, not utter lethargy. 

“I’m better than you are by the sounds of it. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m okay.”

I’ll even open my eyes in a minute.

“Yeah, I call bullshit. Christian, you sound like death not so warmed up. If something’s up, tell me. And if you have to be somewhere else doing that something else, that’s okay too.”

“I never plan anything on a Monday night that doesn’t involve you. Just give me a minute and I’ll be good to go.”

Actually if Steve gives me a minute I’ll be asleep.

“Okay, Christian, listen up. Yes this is our date night, and yes there is normally sex, but fuck it, I thought we’d moved past it all being about that. I’ll be happy just to talk to you for a while, because in case you missed the memo, I do like you. Now, tell me what’s going on, without the glossing.”

“I’ve been going non stop this past week. Making sure the books are up to date, the stock will be okay and that Jared and Mike got plenty of time off since they’ll be filling in for me while I’m gone. I don’t think I’ve gotten to bed before one in the morning since last Monday and I’m just fucking tired. Sorry.”

“What the fuck are you sorry for? You shouldn’t even be talking to me, Christian, you need to sleep. Tomorrow you’re driving across the fucking country, you need to sleep or you’ll end up killing yourself.”

“I’ll sleep, soon. Real soon. I just needed to talk to you for a bit beforehand. I like talking to you, I like the sound of your voice.”

“Are you in bed? Ready to sleep at least?”

“Yeah. I finished up at the bar an hour or so back so I decided to live life on the wild side and made myself a grilled cheese sandwich before locking up, crawling into bed and calling you.”

“You already packed and all that shit?”

“Yes, Mom, my truck is gassed and ready to go.”

I think I had this exact same conversation with Dave this afternoon. Then I did have it with Mom.

The conversation I had with Mike had a similar theme, but with a lot more threats of death if they hurt my bar.

“Tell me again why you’re not flying in and saving yourself two days of driving?”

“I like driving. Watching the country pass by while I sing along with the radio relaxes me. It’ll give me time to unwind and be in vacation mode by the time I hit California. If I flew out I’d just spend my first two days there pissed and grumpy while I unwound. Trust me when I say the drive is worth the time it takes.”

“As long as you let me know where you are from time to time.”

“I will.”

It’s right about then that the yawning starts. I manage to smother the intake of hair, but there’s no way Steve didn’t heat my jaw crack.

“Light’s out, baby?”

“Yeah…sorry, Steve…”

“Don’t be. Hang up now, Oklahoma. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“I get to touch you soon.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Night, darlin’.”

“Sweet dreams, Oklahoma.”

After some fumbling I do get the phone disconnected, but I fall asleep with it on the pillow beside me. 

~*~

From: Oklahoma

Leaving now. I’ll text again later

From: California

Drive fucking safely. And coffee!

From: Oklahoma

Stop worrying. I slept just fine, with amazing dreams.

From: California

Gonna make those dreams reality, baby.

From: Oklahoma

You’d better.

From: Oklahoma

I’m officially in the middle of nowhere. I’ll call when I stop tonight

From: California

Nowhere has reception? Handy to know.

From: Oklahoma

Fuck you.

~*~

“Hey, Oklahoma, how’re you doing?”

“Hey yourself, California.”

Yes, I know there’s a question there I didn’t answer, but my words are slurring and even to my own ears I sound like shit. I’m thinking he’ll be able to work out how I am all by himself.

“Fuck, man, what’re you doing driving when you’re still exhausted? Why didn’t you stop earlier?”

“I’m only exhausted now because I’ve allowed myself to stop. As I told you, I like the drive, but if it takes any longer than two days my excitement counteracts my relaxing drive.”

“If you end up dead because you fell asleep at the wheel it’s going to waste a whole lot more time, baby.”

Yes, I still get a roll that starts in my stomach and moves outward when he calls me that.

“I’ve stopped now and I’m going to sleep as soon as I’ve stopped talking to you.”

“Have you eaten? And you could have just sent me a text telling me you were going to sleep, Christian, I wouldn’t have minded.”

I don’t do being nagged all that well, normally, but like most things lately, it’s all different when it comes to Steve.

“Yes, Mom, I’ve eaten. And I’ll pass out soon enough, I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes before I did. So quit nagging and let me, okay?” 

The sound of Steve laughing makes me smile and I relax back into the bed. I meant it when I said I’d be asleep before too much longer and I was already naked and under the bed covers before I called him.

“Quit calling me Mom. You know, I’m sorry, but you’re finally on your way out here, I get to actually meet you, touch you, so I’d like it if you made it here in one piece.”

“And I will. I have a hell of a lot of reasons for doing so.”

“What time do you think you’ll get to David’s tomorrow?”

“I’m not planning on leaving here at dawn, I want as much sleep as I can get, so I’m guessing around eight.”

“Call me when you do, please?”

My eyes are shut now and I know I’m not far from that sleep thing.

“I will. But you know I can’t see you tomorrow night, right? I’ll be hard pushed to see you Wednesday either. It’s not that I don’t want too, it’s-“

“Don’t you even think about going any further with that train of thought. Firstly, this is your fucking vacation, and secondly, I know I’m coming second to a girl.”

God, I can’t wait to meet Bardot.

“Only because she’s cuter than you.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

He’s laughing again.

“I’m falling asleep.”

“Yeah, you are so tell me you’ll let me know you’re on the road and when you arrive and hang up.”

“I will, I promise. You know, I am coming out for you too.”

“I know, now sleep, baby, sleep.”

When I’ve hung up and I’m almost unconscious, a thought drifts through my mind that I’m coming out in more ways than one for Steve.

~*~

From: Oklahoma

Had bacon and eggs can I leave now?

From: California

Yes you can. Don’t drive like an Oklahoman and get here safely.

From: Oklahoma

Fuck you.

From: California

You keep saying that. I thought I was topping first time round

~*~

It’s only when I pull up in Dave’s driveway that I remember I should have stopped down the road and sent a text to Steve that I was here, because I’ve got about five seconds before I’ll have an armful of Jaden, past his bed time or not. Pulling my phone out of my pocket I get ‘I’m here, I’ll call tomorrow’ sent with half a second to spare.

Jaden’s on me as soon as I step down from my truck, letting me hug the hell out of him and all I can do is thank god he’s not too old for this yet. When I finally let him go, Dave and Jamie are standing there, shaking their heads. Dave just smiles as Jamie speaks.

“He wouldn’t go to bed before you got here.”

“I would have woken him up anyway.”

“I know.”

Two steps later she’s in my arms. Fuck, I envy Dave his life sometimes.

“How’re you doin’, Mommy?”

This pregnancy wasn’t easy for Jamie, literally from the get go.

“I’m good, great even, now she’s here. You’re going to love Bardot, Christian.”

“Yeah, because that was always a touch and go thing, right?”

Jamie swats my ass just as David pulls me in for a hard hug.

“It’s good to have you here, man.”

“It’s good to be here, believe me.”

And it is, because Steve aside, this is what I needed. Time away from my bar, time with my friends and doing nothing other than watch Transformers with Jaden if that’s what he wants to do.

Try the whole vacation thing on for size.

David looks at me as I step back and I know he knows something is going on. I also know he’ll let sleeping dogs lie, for the moment at least. 

“Grab your bag, Kane, then I think it’s time for all boys under ten to be in bed.”

Jaden whines and I bite down on my grin.

“C’mon, buddy, if you don’t get some sleep, and let me get some rest, how’re we going to do everything you want to tomorrow?”

I have no idea what Jaden wants to do, but he always has some kind of list. And there’s normally one thing I have to talk him out of, like python hunting or something. Too much Discovery channel, I swear.

“C’mon, Uncle Chris, I’ll show you your room, and then can you stay while Daddy reads my story?”

“I can do anything you want too, Jay, anything at all.”

David and Jamie just smile at me as we start inside because they know what Jaden doesn’t realise yet. I do mean *anything*.

~*~

“I thought I’d find you in here.”

I fell asleep about fifteen minutes after Jaden, but for whatever reason something woke me up when Jamie got up to see to Bardot. 

Probably Bardot herself. She was asleep when I arrived and I only got a little peak before I passed out.

I’ve been sitting here in the dark, rocking with Bardot ever since I told Jamie to go get some sleep after this beautiful little girl had finished feeding and really, I should have realised that David would come looking for me.

“Why the hell are you looking for me in the first place, Dave? You should be in bed, asleep with your wife. I’m not going to offer to take the night shift the whole time I’m here, you know.”

“Bullshit, Kane. You know damn well if Jamie so much as looks sideways at you you’ll be falling over yourself to sit up with Bardot all night if need be.”

I can’t help chuckling to myself because the honest truth is I’ll be offering before Jamie even thinks about asking.

“Yeah, maybe, but I do have plans for at least one night that don’t include the Boreanaz family.”

I’m kind of hoping it’ll be more than one night though. Two would be nice, but three would be a whole lot better. And all of this is falling into the counting chickens while I still have eggs category.

Quietly, Dave comes further into the room and when he’s beside me he strokes a hand over his baby’s head before settling himself down on the floor beside the rocker I’m sitting on. I stop rocking, meaning to hand Bardot back to her daddy, but David just shakes his head and pushes the chair with his foot until we start moving again.

“She’s asleep Christian and you’re comfortable, let her be, it’s okay.”

It’s more than okay by me and David already knows that. When Jaden was a baby he was kind of fussy; I’d hold him for hours when his parent’s needed to sleep and it was never something that was a chore for me.

“So why aren’t you in bed with your wife, Boreanaz?”

“I wanted to talk to you without anybody else around and I can forgo some sleep to do that.”

“Do I want to know why?”

Really, do I?

“Knowing you, probably not, but you know we’re going to do this anyway, so you might as well suck it up and get this out of the way.”

“How the hell do you know if I have anything to tell? I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I over share or you haven’t been more than a little sidetracked lately.”

Yes, I knew I’d be telling David about Steve, and me, while I was out here, but I really was kind of hoping it wouldn’t be my first night here.

“How do I know, Kane? I know you, that’s how. I don’t know what you have to share with the class exactly, but there’s something. Through the exhaustion you always have when you allow yourself a vacation, I can see you’re happier than I’ve seen you in a long time, easier even, which is something I’m very grateful for.”

Well I was calmer up until that very second and Bardot feels it, because she whimpers softly in my arms. Nuzzling the top of her head, I shhh her and that gives me a minute to tell myself that this is all going to be okay.

I’m almost certain though that I don’t believe myself.

“You seeing somebody, Christian?”

“Kind of.”

Bardot makes another squeak and I can’t do this here.

“Just let me put Beauty here in her crib and we’ll talk.”  
  


This time Dave doesn’t tell me his little girl will be fine where she is, he just waits until she’s tucked in before he kisses her just like I did and then follows me from the room. When we’re almost to the kitchen he moves past me before grabbing two sodas from the fridge, then leads the way out to the back landing. Neither of us bother with chairs, we just sit on the steps that lead down to the grass that really needs mowing.

“Before you tie yourself in knots, Chris, which I can already see you starting to do, just remember I’m not going to tell you to fuck off out of my life no matter what you say. Though I’ll be honest, I have no idea why you’re so twisted up about finally dating again.”

“I’m not dating. Yet. And…and this isn’t my normal, ummm, type.”

“I fucking hope not because your type seems to be blonde, boobs and brainless. Fuck, man, she’s not married is she?”

“No.”

Way to dodge the real issue there, Christian.

“Okay, then, explain. And you can start with the whole ‘not yet’ thing, because I have to tell you, you’re starting to freak me out. You seem convinced I’m about to throw you out on your ear, and after all we’ve been through I have no idea what would be causing those kind of thoughts.”

“I…this…crap.”

Taking a swallow of my drink, I close my eyes and measure my breath before trying to start again.

“This is going to take some explaining, Dave, and there’s a chance that some of the parts you won’t like, but I’m asking you to wait until I’m done before you jump down my throat.”

“Okay, I’ll try.”

That’ll have to do, because to be honest, it’s about all I could do if I was in Dave’s shoes instead of my own.

“You know my break up with Whitney wasn’t real great.”

Dave snorts but doesn’t actually say anything.

“Okay, so it was a little more than not great. It’s just so fucking hard, Dave, wanting a life that includes somebody that I might actually love and who might love me back, but knowing that outside of Oklahoma I don’t breathe so well. There’s nobody in Lone Grove that I haven’t known since we were in diapers, or that I haven’t already dated. Hell, most people in the second category are in the first one anyway. But I am so fucking tired of being alone.”

That’s what I hate more than anything. It doesn’t matter what kind of day I have, good, bad, indifferent, there’s nobody in my life to give a fuck either way.

“You do know you aren’t alone, don’t you, Christian?”

“I know I have you and Jamie and the kids, Jared, Mike, Mom, Dad and everybody, yeah I know. But you know as well as I do that it’s not the same. You wouldn’t trade Jamie for ten of me and you know it.”

“Yeah, I do. Anyway, Chris, keep going.”

“After the clusterfuck with Whitney, I started thinking about something I haven’t let myself wonder about in years. Hell, even back then I didn’t let myself think about it too hard, because I had everything all mapped out. Business, wife, kids, all of it. I have one, sure, but nothing much else…So for once in my life I didn’t over think what I wanted to do and just fucking did it.”

My explanation is taking the long way around that’s for sure.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the word ‘internet’ is going to come out of your mouth very soon.”

Well he did say he knew me.

“Yeah, I placed an internet ad.”

“And?”

Suddenly I’m finding the label on my soda very interesting and picking it off will apparently show me the meaning of life.

“And I met somebody.”

“Don’t make me drag it out of you word by word, Kane.”

Here goes nothing.

“His name is Steve.”  
  


Silence. The world’s longest nothing is what my statement gets me. I can’t help wondering if I’ll be able to find a motel at this time of night.

Of course, right after that silence is the sound of the back of my head getting slapped, hard.

“What the fuck, Boreanaz?”

“You, dick. You do not get to say something like that and then go all…however the hell you went. You met somebody whose name is Steve, great. Now go back to the fucking beginning and put in all the details you left out before you thought I’d freak out all over you.”

So that’s exactly what I do. Telling about wanting to know if I could be with a guy, placing the ad, gerbils, finding Steve, talking to Steve. Dave gets told more about Steve than he probably wanted to know, but I leave out all the sex stuff.

And the toys I have tucked away in my truck so Jaden won’t find them.

David lets me get out every stupid little thing before he says another word.

“I don’t want to know details, please don’t tell me fucking details, but if you’ve never met this guy in person, how do you know you’re okay with the whole guy thing?”

“I know. And you’re just going to have to trust me on that because I wouldn’t tell you any details even if you did want them.”

I couldn’t tell anybody half the stuff I’ve done with Steve, not without going so red in the face I’d spontaneously combust. 

“Okay, fair enough. You are meeting him while you’re out here?”

“Yeah. Probably the day after tomorrow, today, you know what I mean.”

Plenty of time for my nerves to tie my stomach into endless knots of nausea.

“Just to get something straight from the very start, I have no problem with you being gay or bi or whatever. You’re Christian, I love you, and all Jamie and I both want is for you to be happy. You won’t need to find a motel, and I will not be banning you from touching my children. I do expect you to look after yourself, but you’re not stupid, I think you can do that. And the fact I want to meet this guy should go without saying. There’s only one thing that’s worrying me right now.”

Something tells me it’ll be the exact same thing I’ve been trying not to think about for weeks now.

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“You like this guy, and he lives in California. How the hell is that going to stop you from being alone in Oklahoma?” 

I hate it when I’m right.

“I don’t know, Dave. I’ve been focused on coming out here, seeing you guys, meeting Steve and trying not to think too much past that. I know it’ll bite me in the ass, but I am trying so fucking hard to not buy trouble. Maybe he won’t be everything that I think he is, maybe he will, but either way I just don’t want to think about it. Not yet.”

There’s something else Dave wants to say, I know there is, but he’s quiet as he stand up and takes both our empty bottles to the recycle bin. When he comes back, he offers me his hand to pull me up. As soon as I’m standing he’s pulling me against him, and hugging me.

“Whatever happens, I’ve got your back.”

“I’m counting on it.”

And I am.

“Good, now since you’ll probably be up at the crack of dawn with Jaden to plant carrots or whatever the hell he has planned for the two of you I think it’s time to head back to bed, Kane.”

“C’mon old man, let’s hit the hay.”

As I follow David inside I realise I won’t have any trouble sleeping now.

~*~

Sweet Jesus, I think Jaden has killed me. That’s my only thought as I sit down on the lounge on the back decking. I’ve set up a veggie garden, played in the park, read stories, watched videos while being a jungle gym and I think I’m dead. I’m not saying I haven’t loved every second, I’m just wondering how in hell Dave does this.

Super boy is in bed now, Bardot and Jamie are asleep and I have no idea where David is but he better be bringing me beer.

Mostly because I’m not sure I can move again now that I’ve let myself sit down. I’ve been sore before but this kind of sore is new and making me feel very, very old.

“You look like you could use this?”

I don’t open my eyes, just reach out my hand. The bottle is cold in my hand and the first mouthful of alcohol tastes like mother’s milk.

“How the hell do you do it?”

Of all the things I was expecting as an answer, laughter was none of them.

“Chris, I don’t give in to every one of Jaden’s whims like you have for the last two days. If I did that he’d be a spoiled brat and I’d be dead. He’ll calm down now that he’s run you ragged and he knows you’ll be around for another couple of weeks.”

“I want to be the cool uncle.”

“And you are. You can quit trying so hard.”

“I don’t think so.”

Dave just laughs again and mutters something that sounds like ‘knew it’.

“You seeing Steve tomorrow, Christian?”

Taking another drink, I just nod. There’ve been text messages since I arrived, and a quick phone call, but tomorrow is the day.

“I’m calling him tonight, after he finishes work, to set it up.”

“You know I have to ask, will you be home tomorrow night?”

Dave reminds me a lot of my Pop sometimes.

“I’m gonna have to get back to you on that one because it depends on…a lot of things.”

Like Steve being able to get the night off work, us not hating each other on sight, me not freaking out, stupid mundane shit like that.

“You’ll let me know?”

This time I can’t help myself.

“Yes Dad, and I’ll leave you the address of where you can find my body when he murders me as well.”

“You are an ass, Kane.”

“Do you really want to start talking about asses with me right now?”

“Fuck no!”

Thank god for that.

“Go watch TV or crawl into bed with Jamie, Dave. I’m just going to have a shower then watch TV until I can call Steve. If Bardot wakes up-“

“And by some miracle you don’t we’re going to let you sleep, Chris. I know you’re playing down how important tomorrow is to you, but I get it. So just make your call, get some sleep and have breakfast with Jaden in the morning.”

That really sounds like a plan I could get into.

My legs wobble just a bit as I stand up, but I get there.

“I’m going to have the world’s hottest shower now. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night, Chris.”

Lifting my still half full can of beer in the air is the only wave he gets as I slowly, very slowly, walk inside to head upstairs.

I think I’m going to trade that shower in for a bath. A long bath.

~*~

By the time I get back to my room, dressed in nothing but sweat pants, I feel human again and it’s time to call Steve.

I’m more nervous tonight than I was the first time I spoke to this guy and, really, that’s just fucking stupid. I like Steve, I’d like him even if I didn’t want to spend hours in bed with him.

Yeah, I’m still shaking just a little when I push his speed dial.

“Hey, Christian.”

I never know what he’s going to call me from day to day, but seeing as how I like everything that he calls me I’m not complaining.

“Hey, Steve. Done with work?” 

“Yep, I’m back at my house considering a shower and another beer.”

“Another one, huh? You want me to let you go shower and call back later?”

“Nah, it can wait. Feels like forever since I’ve talked to you properly.”

“Sorry about that, I-“

“Fuck, Oklahoma, you don’t have to apologise. I wasn’t bitching about it, I was just trying to say I’d rather talk to you right now than shower. It can wait, I don’t want you to.”

“You’re not getting phone sex tonight, you know that, don’t you? Not while I’m at Dave and Jamie’s with the kids here.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean we can’t…discuss tomorrow and make a few plans here and there.”

I wonder how quietly I can jerk off when I get off this phone.

“Before we make any kind of arrangements, tell me, did you get the night off?”

“I most certainly did. Apparently my work mates have had enough of my overly happy ass and were desperate to be rid of me for the night.”

Somehow I get the feeling Dave will be kicking me out of his house as early as he can tomorrow morning as well.

“Hopefully you showed your gratitude?”

“I did, there were beers all around before I left for the night.”

I guess that explains why it’s another beer he’s having now.

“So, umm, plans for tomorrow?”

“You’re nervous, Chris, why?”

“Other than the obvious?”

“All right, I’m not making any plans about tomorrow until you tell me what’s going on in your head.”

I love how Steve can go from teasing sex talk to straight down the line tell me without even blinking. Or at least I think I love it.

“I’m nervous about the sex thing, sure, but…I like you and if we don’t hit it off in person, fuck, Steve, it’ll hurt, okay?”

“Chris, there is no chance in hell we won’t get along when you’re sitting in front of me. I already know you look like a wet dream, hell you are my wet dream of choice, I know how loyal you are, how deeply you love your friends and family and that you have a fucking amazing sense of humour. I know your voice gets me fucking harder than any porn I’ve ever seen and I cannot fucking wait just to see you smile. If you want to spend tomorrow away from my place, at the beach or, I don’t know, going to endless Disney movies, I don’t fucking care. As long as I get to see you tomorrow and know there’s a chance I’ll get to touch you before you go home, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“You’re invited to Dave’s for dinner one night, and I’d like to eat at your restaurant. Maybe there’s a movie or two I want to see, and I haven’t been to the beach since I was last out here. But tomorrow? I want to spend tomorrow in your bed, with you, naked. I want to fuck, and be fucked. I want you to teach me everything you’ve told me about and maybe show me some more. I want toys and cocks, and fuck it, Steve, I just want you. It’s been months of foreplay and I don’t know about you, but I’m damn near desperate for the main course.”

There’s probably more to it, like if I can’t go through with the sex thing none of the other stuff will be happening and we need to know that sooner rather than later. But most of it is just as simple as I need to fucking be with him.

“Then now we can talk planning tomorrow.”

My body actually releases into the bed as I breathe out and finally relax.

“Tell me what you want, darlin’.”

“What I’d like is for you to be calm when you get here, or at least wound up in a good way. Do you have any of your toys with you?”

“They’re, umm, packed in my truck still. I didn’t want Jaden finding them.”

“That’s cool, baby, I understand. But if I want you to do something with one of them before you come over here, are you going to be okay with doing that in the house?”

“Probably not.”

Facing Mike with something up my ass is completely different from trying to look David in the eye under the same circumstances.

“Thank you for being honest with me. David’s house is about an hour away from mine, do you think you’ll be able to find somewhere between there and here to do what I want to ask you to do?”

There’s a coffee shop I always go to when I’m here, so me grabbing a coffee and using the bathroom won’t be strange. To them or to me.

“Yeah, I know of a place.”

“Good. What I want you to do is pick out one of your plugs, you can chose which one, lube it up, lightly because I don’t want you loose and wet when you get here, and I want it inside of you there whole way here. Oh and, Oklahoma? You are not allowed to come until we’re together tomorrow. Not tonight, not when you’re putting the plug up your ass, not when you hit a bump on the way over here. The next time either of us come it’s going to be all over each other, okay?”

He can’t be fucking serious, can he? I’m so hard I’ll never fucking sleep tonight.

“I really can’t go jerk off in the shower right now?”

“Nope.”

“I think I hate you a little bit.”

“I can live with that, because tomorrow I’m going to be the love of your life.”

I’m not going to even think about touching that statement. 

“What time tomorrow morning?” 

“Whatever time you get here. I’ve got nothing to do tomorrow but you.”

Oh fuck.

“I have to hang up now, Steve, and go have a cold shower. I’ll see you tomorrow. Early.”

The asshole is laughing when I hang up.

But something tells me he’s doing the exact same thing I am right now.

Just for the record, as a hard-on killer, cold showers aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

~*~

“So are you coming home tonight?”

“Didn’t I answer that question last night?”

Jamie’s taken Jaden to school and Jaden was less than impressed when I said I’d see him tomorrow, though I did promise him whatever we did it would just be him and me. And right now, I’ll admit it, I’m only cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast to waste time. I want to go, but I can’t help wondering if turning up on his doorstep at nine thirty in the morning will me make look as desperate as I am.

“Yeah, you answered it, then you took a bath, made a phone call and took a shower so how about you answer it again.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow some time.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“I really, really hate you, Boreanaz.”

“Right back at ya, Kane.”

~*~

From: Oklahoma 

Leaving now.

From: Oklahoma

Stopping to grab a coffee…and do stuff.

From: California

Is stuff done?

From: Oklahoma

Find those fucking cock rings. I think I might need both of them.

~*~

When I pull up in front of Steve’s place, I can’t stop shaking. I’m hard, nervous and the ability to form a conscious thought is completely out of my reach. There’s just one word running through my head on a continuous loop.

Steve.

Find Steve, touch Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve.

Getting out of my truck and not coming in my jeans is nothing like easy but I get it done even if I do end up leaning on the hood with my hands clenched into fists willing my body to relax. I swear if the plug moves against my prostate one more time I’ll be on my knees in the middle of this fucking parking lot.

It takes another minute or so, but eventually I can move. The nerves are still there, but it’s hard to concentrate on them when you’re harder than you ever remember being and have a butt plug up your ass.

Thankfully the door is open when I get to it and Steve is waiting just inside.

“C’mere, Oklahoma.”

There’s so much going on between us that there’s no room for hesitation as I walk right to Steve, kick the door shut behind me and just press myself into him. My hands end up holding tight to his hips and then, just like I wanted to weeks ago, I show Steve exactly how good kissing can be. Steve’s hands aren’t touching me when I cover his lips with mine and, for a moment, I’m not moving either, it’s enough to know he’s real. 

He’s very real and now his hands are running over the back of my neck.

It’s time for this whole kissing thing to get a whole lot more involved, so shifting my mouth lower, I suck Steve’s lower lip into my mouth and letting my teeth graze across it as I let go. There could have been a moment for talking in there somewhere but Steve’s occupied by trying to taste every inch of my mouth all at once and, yeah, who gives a flying fuck about words. I think we’re saying plenty as Steve’s fingers thread through my hair and my hands slide lower on to his ass, trying to drag him closer when the only distance between us is the half an inch or so of our clothing. 

We do stop to breathe, but there’s nothing more than a quick gasp of air before we’re back at it. Steve biting the corner of my mouth, me sucking at his tongue. I told him kissing was more than just a means to an end. The end is going to come sooner than I want, though, and I don’t want to be standing when that happens.

“Darlin’, I don’t have another pair of jeans to wear tomorrow…”

There’s a bite just below my ear before Steve answers me.

“Close, baby?”

“Yes. Plug up my ass, remember?”

“I remember. You want to get horizontal and naked?”

Stepping back from him is hard, and I realise I’m still shaking.

“Please, California…show me?”

Steve moves forward, rubbing against me, before taking my hand and leading me down the hallway. I know I should be nervous, or worried that maybe he actually is a serial killer, but I’m not, I don’t and following him is possibly the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

Stopping beside his bed, Steve turns toward me, and cupping my jaw he kisses me again.

“I’m gonna get you naked now, any objections?”

“You don’t want me to…?”

“No, I don’t.”

Gentle hands push me down onto the edge of the bed and I don’t even think about censoring my moan as it makes the plug rock inside of me.  
  


“That sound is so much better in person, Oklahoma.”

Then Steve’s hands are at the bottom of his t-shirt as he pulls it over his head.

“Hey! I wanted to do that.”

“You can do it next time, right now, just watch.”

He’s not wearing any shoes or socks so the next article of clothing Steve goes for are his jeans. His incredibly fucking low riding jeans. The button gives under his fingers and I realise that where I should be seeing boxers I’m seeing nothing but skin. Now I understand a little better why people think that’s hot when I never thought past underwear being uncomfortable.

“Taking a leaf out of my book, California?”

“Nah, just impatient.”

And with that he pushes his jeans off and there’s nothing in my line of sight other than the first hard cock that isn’t mine that I’ve ever seen. I swear it’s instinct that has me leaning forward and licking the head.

“Fuck, Oklahoma, don’t…not now.”

Stepping close, Steve fumbles when he reaches for the first button of my shirt and you have no idea how much better that makes me feel. By the time he’s at button number three, my hands are back on his waist just touching to feel the play of muscle and skin as they move.

“You’re so warm, Steve.”

“And you are incredibly fucking hot, stand up.”

My shirt is half way down my arms before I’m completely on my feet. When it’s off, I’m pulling Steve forward, wanting to feel his heat over as much of me as I can.

“Feels fucking amazing.”

Steve’s hands run along my spine before they cup my ass and squeeze. It doesn’t take rocket science to work out why I’m back to shaking.

“You’re going to feel a whole lot better very shortly, Oklahoma.”

And then Steve is on his knees in front of me asking me to lift my foot as he removes my boot and sock, before he repeats the movement with my other leg.

“While I’m down here is there something you’d like?”

“Later. I still have my jeans on and I’m probably going to come as soon as you get them off, but I want you to get them off and I want to make you feel as fucking desperate as I am.”

“I already am, baby, believe me, I already am.”

“Then what the fuck are you waiting for?”

Steve says something that I don’t catch and whatever it was becomes instantly irrelevant because he’s heading south. Him and his mouth.

“Ready for the marks to begin, Oklahoma?”

“Steve, I know I’m the novice here, but I want to be here and I need to replace the latex in my ass with you. You don’t have to keep askin’ if I’m okay, if we do something I hate you’ll know about it. I need you, I want you and if there’s much more foreplay I’m going to loose what’s fucking left of my mind.”

There are hands at the fly of my jeans and a mouth on my stomach at exactly the same time. I think I’m pulling Steve’s hair but I can feel his moan in my gut, literally feel the vibrations of it, so I don’t think he minds and by the time he pulls off my skin and kisses the new bruise my jeans are at my knees.

“You’re still bare here, Oklahoma. Did you shave yourself this morning?”

I know exactly what my smile looks like. A canary covered in cream eating cat.

“Nope. You can get anything waxed in California.”

“You…waxed? Oh fuck, baby, fuck.”

Steve’s face is suddenly buried in the skin of my groin. The waxing felt good, I know, I’m a sick fuck, but this feels better. And god, I want to change my mind about what I want, especially when Steve’s mouth is all of an inch from my dick, but Steve picks that exact moment to cup my balls and let his finger brush the skin just behind them.

“Get my fucking pants gone.”

With a hand placed right against my sternum, Steve pushes me back down on the bed and as I land the plug catches and jams into my prostate. As Steve gets my jeans gone, I’m squeezing the base of my dick as hard as I possibly can and even then I still think it’s all over.

I swear it takes an hour but I can finally hear over what little blood isn’t in my cock rushing through my ears. Steve’s beside me on the bed now, stroking his fingers over the love bite on my stomach.

“I wouldn’t have minded if you’d come, baby.”

“I would’ve. But we’re on a fucking shortening fuse here, darlin’.”

“That’s what I was counting on.”

“Huh?”

“I wanted the want to out weigh your nerves. I think we’ve achieved that, don’t you?”

Framing my hands around Steve’s face, I pull him close and bite down hard at his lip.

“Fuck. Me.”

It takes some manoeuvring, mostly because there’s still kissing and hands, but eventually we’re laying the right way on the bed. Steve’s half on top of me and I know what the hand on my inside thigh wants me to do.

Spreading my legs for a guy, for Steve, is easier than I ever thought it would be.

“Hey, baby, talk to me, I want that dirty mouth of yours.”

“There’s a fucking piece of plastic inside of me, get it the fuck out and show me what it feels like to have a part of another man, you, in my body.”

I think Steve’s getting the hang of this kissing thing because his mouth is back on mine as he reaches under the pillow. He never takes his lips from my body. My teeth are chewing at his neck more than a little feverishly when I feel him move the toy.

“Fuck, darlin’, yes. Your fingers, your dick, that beautiful fucking cock that’s going to come all over my face.”

And just like they were the magic words, the plug is gone from my ass and, I’m guessing, two of Steve’s fingers replace it.

“Oh fuck, yeah…that feels….god, how that feels…move, darlin’, move.”

“There’s my fucking filthy Oklahoman. You like fingers that aren’t yours filling you, do you, baby? Do you like this too?”

Every time Steve fucks the fingers he must have lubed in and out of me he’s aiming for my prostate, and he hasn’t missed it yet.

“Yes, I like.”

“I know what you’ve been up to these last months, baby, you’ve told me all about it, but you’re still so fucking tight. I can feel your heart beat, and it’s racing.”

I can’t reach Steve’s cock to do what I want to, so I settle for running my fingers through the puddle of precome below my belly button. When I reach up with damp fingers and tug at his nipple, I might be in love with the sound he makes.

“You fucking remembered.”

“How could I forget?”

“You can-“

The next pinch is hard and sharp and I’m fairly sure a third finger is now in me.

“Like that?”

“Fuck yes…are you ready? Please tell me you are.”  
  


“Get a rubber on that cock of yours and put it where we both want it.”

As Steve pulls his fingers out and away from me my hips actually lift to follow them.

“Such a beautiful, virgin cock slut. Your choice, baby, how?”

“Like this. Wanna make sure I can hurry you up, like now.”

There might have been fingernail involved when I pull at Steve’s nipple that time. But he’s moving, between my legs, lubing his latex covered dick, and then he’s…

“Fuuuuuuck.”

I’m actually going to do this.

“Christian?”

“Take what’s already yours, Steve.”

Slowly, steadily Steve pushes into me. My breath sucks in, my legs tremble but as soon as I can feel him against me I know. This is why Whitney wasn’t the girl for me.

She’s a girl.

“I feel…fuck, darlin’, I don’t know. Full, th-there’s an edge of pain…and you seriously have to m-move.”

“It’s not going to l-last for hours…”

“Thank god. Now, please, darlin’…”

I don’t have to say it again, because Steve’s moving, bracing both his hands beside my head and fucking me. It’s slow, but I’m not stupid, it won’t stay that way. There’s another thing I know because my dildo taught it to me. If I tilt my hips up like this…

“Fucking hell!”

Let me tell you, fingers and toys are great but nothing beats a cock pounding your prostate.

“Not a virgin a-anymore, Oklahoma.”

“If I j-jerk myself off, gonna watch, darlin’?”

It’s another magic phrase because Steve is really moving now, really fucking me, and I think bottoming isn’t going to a huge issue for me.

“Touch yourself, baby, make y-yourself come with m-me. Just make it…quick.”

There’s no way to make it anything but right now.

My hand is around myself instantly, my other hand is in Steve’s mouth because I need something inside of him and as he watches my hand, his cock I watch his eyes darken until there’s barely a hint of blue.

I get so lost in Steve that my orgasm hits my body like a freight train. Somebody yells, my back arches, come hits my chest and still my hand keeps moving. Through all of it I can feel Steve, and I can tell he’s forgotten everything other than he has to get off. It hurts, it’s incredible and dear god what’s coming from his mouth as my fingers slip free.

“Fuck! Yes, take it, get that come everywhere, take it, give it to me, fuck, baby, FUCK!”

Two more thrusts and he’s coming, he’s still pushing into me when he falls against my chest, panting, then sucking when I slip my come covered fingers into his mouth.

“You are, beautiful, California, and so fucking hot in the sack.”

Steve doesn’t speak until my whole hand is clean.

“You’re not a gay virgin anymore. I should have been-“

“It should have been exactly what it was. Hi, by the way, I’m Christian.”

“Hi yourself, I’m Steve. Think you’ll be too sore to do that again soon?”

“Fuck no, darlin’.”

Thank god Steve isn’t working until late the next day, because it’s around five when we finally pass out. I’ve meet Brutus, and I was fucking Steve with him when I ended up with come in my hair. And on my lips, my cheek, my chin. During his cleanup, Steve might have missed a drop around my ear somewhere. I’ve also discovered rimming is incredible and Steve is amazing at it. Steve is just plain fucking amazing. The windows are wide open to let in some fresh air, the bed’s a write-off and I’m sore everywhere.

But I sleep like a baby and after coffee and toast for breakfast sometime around noon I find out that Steve really loves having his nipples bitten, and I do mean *really* likes it as in he comes before I even get to play with his dick.

That doesn’t mean I don’t get fucked on the kitchen table though.

All in all, sore or not, I want to every last thing again.

And again.  
  


Who knew two cocks would be involved in the best sex ever?

~*~

From; Oklahoma

Sore. Miss you.

From: California

Wanna go to the beach tomorrow?

From: Oklahoma

We could do that.

From: California

I can fuck you in the water. See how bad (or good) your exhibitionist streak really is

~*~

_‘Hi, you’ve call Steve and you know what to do.’_

I know you’re at work now, but you have to know this. I’m at David’s alone Steve, and I’m hard, and I need fucking. Need to bend over for you, let you eat out my ass in broad daylight, have that hard, hard cock of yours in me. I’m so fucking horny and you aren’t here. The beads are in my ass, Steve, just like you showed me, they feel good. Very good. See you tomorrow, darlin’.

~*~

Yes, I sent him a picture. The angle was as awkward as hell and it took me two tries, but I did it.

And with some warming lube they really did feel incredible. 

I still wanted Steve though.

~*~

I’ve spent the better part of a day talking myself into this. Well, first I talked myself into it, then I decided against it and it went back and forth with a lather, rinse, repeat regularity for the two hours I was sitting with Bardot. Well, I sat, she slept, on me, though I won’t be telling Jamie or David that part. It was right as I put her down that I decided it probably wasn’t one of my better ideas but I was doing it anyway.

Of course it was only as I rang to make reservations that it occurred to me I might not be able to get in and there might have been minor panic when I was told to hold. Somebody up there liked my idea though because there’d just been a cancellation.

I’m taking David and Jamie out to eat at Steve’s restaurant tonight. It’s something I was always planning on doing, by myself, but taking Dave and Jamie with me, that’ll make Steve real to people other than me, and that’s huge.

See what I mean by good idea and worst idea all wrapped up into one little ‘what was I thinking’ package?

Now I just have to make sure Dave and Jamie can actually come.

“Hey, Kane.”

“Sorry to call you at work, man.”

“It’s cool, they’re fiddling with the lights or some such. What’s up? Is Bardot’s okay?”

“Yes, Daddy, she’s sound asleep.”

“You just put her back in her crib, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Glancing down at the sleeping princess, my finger strokes over her cheek and when she snuffles all I can do is smile.

“If you spoil Bardot like you did Jaden Jamie is going to gut you, Christian, you know that, yeah?”

“Jamie loves me, and I haven’t been that bad.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that much. Seriously though, why’re you calling me at work? It’s something you never do.”

I might have this little thing about bugging Dave. No, I don’t think what he does is world peace inducing, but there are a lot of people who depend on him being ready to do what they want him to do when they want him to do it.

“I want to take you and Jamie out tonight, for dinner, is there somebody that can baby sit?”

“Sure, I can call Bo. Should I ask where we’re going?”

“There’s a place out towards the beach I’ve made a booking at, ‘The Lavender Lotus’.”

“I’ve heard of it, now spill.”

“What?”

“The only place you ever eat out at in L.A. is Pinky’s hot dog stand, why are we suddenly going to a five star restaurant?”

It’s not like I was ever going to get away without telling him.

“Steve is one of the chefs there.”

“And I get to meet him?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t told him we’re coming yet.”

“Then you’d better do it, hadn’t you? I’ll call Bo and Jamie, so just consider us all organised. Damn it, they’re calling me. What time?”

“Reservation’s at eight.”

“I’ll see you at seven-ish then. Call him.”

David’s gone before I can say anything else, and as much as I would like to put off calling Steve, if I don’t do it now he’ll be at work already.

Steve’s speed dial number two now. One is my Momma.

“Hey there, Oklahoma, missed me did you?”

My bark of laughter makes Bardot mewl so I step back from her crib, but only just to the other side of her room.

“What can I say? I miss you so much I’d stalk you. If I had the energy that is, and guess what? I don’t.”

“Such a cruel, cruel man. Why must you take all my daydreams of you fading away as you pine for me and dash them against the cruel words you speak?”

“Umm, Steve, what the fuck?”

“I had lunch with Mom and she’s reading romance novels again.”

“That doesn’t explain why you sound like one.”

“She wouldn’t let me help with lunch, I got bored. The book was on the kitchen bench, taunting me with a half naked cowboy on the cover.”

This time I remember to laugh quietly.

“Remind me to never let you get bored.”

“I really don’t think that’ll be a problem, you’re my very own completely naked cowboy.”

For the moment at least. And yeah, not going there, Christian.

“Thank god I left my hat at home.”

“You have a hat?”

“California, I’m from Oklahoma. If I didn’t have a hat and three pairs of boots they’d make me go live in Idaho.”

“Would you fuck me with your boots on?”

“I am in a room with a baby, and if I’m not mistaken, you have to go to work soon. We are not doing phone sex.”

“You could leave the room and I could call in sick.”

What the fuck is it about this guy that gets to me like this? Nobody I’ve ever dated, ever, has been able to get me this wound up.

“You are not calling in sick, mostly because of what I phoned you to talk about.”

“Sex with your boots on?”

God he’s hopeless.

“No, Steve, no sex. Your work. Dave, Jamie and I are eating there tonight…if that’s okay?”

“You got a reservation?”  
  


“Yeah, there was a late cancellation. Is it okay?”

“Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be? I want you to see the place, and I want to show off what I can do for you.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Like hell I don’t. I have to impress your best friend and his wife, that’s a huge thing. I’ll have to talk to Danneel when I get there. Which means I’m leaving now. Tell Danni who you are, she’s the red head that’ll greet you.”

“Steve, you really don’t have to.”

“I want to. Can you come home with me after?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

I want as much time as I can get.

“Cool. I do have to go, Oklahoma, talk to you tonight?”

“Sure, darlin’, go.”

“Bye.”

Just as I put my phone in my pocket, Bardot wakes up. What can I say, she’s a lady of perfect timing.

A few hours later, when we’re standing in front of Steve’s restaurant, I kind of wish I was home with Bardot and Jaden. I could watch Cars for the ten thousandth time or something, anything, so I wouldn’t have to deal with the nerves that’re currently turning my stomach inside out then right side in over and over.

“Christian?”

Jamie reaches out and touches my arm before sliding her touch downward and tangling her fingers in mine.

“C’mon, let’s go inside.”

Dave smiles and waves us on. He knows I’ll never argue with any woman, let alone his wife. He also knows I want to bolt in the opposite direct so very badly.

Danni, the redhead Steve mentioned greets us as we walk through the door. There’s a weird blink thing when she sees David but that’s all.

“Good evening and welcome to The Lavender Lotus. What name is your booking under?”

“Kane, ma’am.”

That gets more of a reaction than Dave did.

“Kane? Steve’s Christian Kane?”

“Yes, ma’am, I believe so.”

“I’m Danneel, not ma’am, and believe me I am thrilled to meet you. Follow me and I’ll seat you. Then I’ll let Steve know you’re here.”

Jamie still hasn’t let go of my hand and we must make a hell of picture, because Dave is following us with his hand on the small of his wife’s back.

“Please don’t bother him, I know he’s busy.”

Somehow I doubt the table we’re shown to, one that looks over a pond filled with lily pads, is the same table that came with this morning’s cancellation, but it’s beautiful. Jamie finally lets go of me and lets Dave seat her. When she’s ready, we both take our seats. Danneel is looking at us like we’re from Mars.

“Gentlemen, honest to goodness real life gentleman. And just my luck one’s married and the other is gay, damn it.”

She’s a beautiful lady, with an amazing body and a killer smile and I feel…exactly nothing when I look at her.

“Sorry, ma-Danneel.”

“Don’t be, you’re making Steve happy and that counts for a lot around here. Now, I will tell him you’re here because he’ll kill me if I don’t, but in the mean time, I can I take your drink orders?”

It’s a simple order of a bottle of the house red, which we’re told is a good choice, then Danneel tells us she’ll be back with the wine and menus in just a minute or two.

“I get the feeling when she’s not being paid to be polite that woman could swear like a trooper and drink us both under the table.”

Dave looks vaguely impressed as she disappears from view, and all I can do is laugh.

“Steve won’t drink with her anymore. Last time he did he woke up in his flower bed, naked except for a daisy chain and Danneel wondered why he didn’t want bacon with sunny side up eggs for breakfast. Apparently she ate Steve’s breakfast as well as her own while Steve hurled and passed out again on the bathroom floor.”

“I like her!”

“Of course you do, Jamie, because you’re evil and female like that.”

Steve appears beside the table just as Jamie smacks me. He smiles but doesn’t say anything, and I get it, he’s nervous. It doesn’t matter that he’s a guy too, I stand up and put my hand on his back in exactly the same place Dave has his on his wife.

“Steve Carlson, I’d like you to meet my best friend, David Boreanaz and his very abusive wife, Jamie. Jamie, Dave, this is Steve.”

That’s when David stands up as well and offers his hand to Steve.

“It’s good to meet you, Steve, we’ve heard a lot about you.”

As he lets go of David’s hand, Steve reaches over to shake Jamie’s.

“I wish I could say the same, but I can tell you I’ve heard a hell of a lot about your kids.”

Dave cracks up and Jamie just shakes her head.

“He used to visit to actually spend time with us, Steve, but now, we’ve been replaced.”

“Hey! I come out to see you guys as well.”

Rolling his eyes, David just nods.

“Sure you do, Kane. I believe you.”

“Asshole.”

Still shaking her head, Jamie looks at Steve as if to say ‘see what I have to put up with?’

“It was great to meet you guys, but I have to get back to the kitchen. Think about ordering the Barramundi or the rack of lamb.”

There’s a quick hug in there somewhere as Steve whispers in my ear “see you later” and then he’s gone. He must pass Danneel who’s back with our wine.

“The Barramundi really is one of Steve’s specialities, you should try it. I’ll be back in a minute to take your orders.”

I’m about to open my mouth, but Jamie beats me to it.

“It’s okay, David and I will take the rack of lamb, Christian will have the fish.”

“An excellent choice.”

And just like that she’s gone again as David and I sit back down.

“Are you waiting for some kind of judgement on him, Chris?”

“Nah, man, you only met him for thirty seconds tops, besides I got what I needed when I first told you about him, and me. I just wanted you to meet him.”

“I like him, Chris.”

Yeah, I know I said I wasn’t after approval, but just having Dave say that does help me breathe easier.

We don’t see Steve again, but Danneel comes and goes with more wine that only Dave and I are drinking. The barramundi was everything I expected, and by the sounds that Dave was making I’m guessing the lamb didn’t suck either. The chocolate lava dessert that came after left Jamie speechless and Dave and I almost drooling in delight. I don’t know if Steve had a hand in that or just ordered it for us, but, seriously, it was amazing.

By the time we’re done talking and drinking, it really does look like they’re ready for us to leave.

“You’re not coming home with us, are you, Christian?”

“Ahh, no. I’m going back with Steve. I told Jaden before we left I wouldn’t see him tomorrow morning.”

Jaden takes his job of jumping on me every morning I’m here very seriously.

“I’ll see you after work then, man.”

I get a quick hug from both of them before they climb into the waiting cab and I get the feeling David wants to say something else. He doesn’t, but I know when he’s ready and he has the words sorted out in his head he’ll tell me what’s going on.

“Go home and put the old man to bed, Jamie.”

He must have had a few too many drinks because Dave is still poking his tongue out at me when the cab pulls onto the road. 

“Have a good night, baby?”

Yeah, I jump when Steve speaks, but I thought I’d be waiting for a while longer yet.

“You’re done already?”

“Yep. The beauty of kitchen hands. Well, that and Danni told me to get gone before she came out here and seduced you herself.”

Stepping closer to Steve, I slide my hands over his hips and then into the pockets of the jeans he’d changed into.

“She does nothing for me. You, on the other hand…”

Steve’s hands end up under my shirt and his mouth is so fucking close to mine I can already taste him.

“Me?”

“You make me every part of me, literally and figuratively, stand up and beg. Take me home and fuck me, Steve?”

My answer doesn’t come in the form of words, it comes as a kiss. A hard, fast, biting, sucking, teeth and tongue kiss.

“I think you might need to do some fucking of your own tonight, Christian.”

“Let’s go.” 

Fifteen minutes later we finally leave the parking lot.

~*~

From: California

My ass has the most incredible ache today.

From: Oklahoma

Mine doesn’t.

From: California

Will I get one last chance to change that before you leave?

From: Oklahoma

Tomorrow morning?

From: California

Get here as early as you can, baby. 

~*~

“Chris?”

This whole scene reminds me so much of my first night here that it’s almost enough to make me smile.

Almost.

Pushing myself out of the rocker and upright, I walk softly over to Dave and hand him his daughter.

God, I’m going to miss California. The state. I mean the state and the people I love that live here.

Really I do.

“I’ll meet you outside.”

“Okay.”

The way he says that one word tells me that ‘okay’ is the last word Dave associates with me right now, but he lets me go, knowing we can’t do this here with Bardot between us.

I don’t head straight outside though. As quietly as I can I peak into Jaden’s room and just watch the blankets rise and fall as he breathes. When I say that I love this kid, it understates what I actually feel - he gives me a peace that I could never put into words. It makes me wonder how David can even breathe when he looks at his children. 

Stepping back, I pull Jaden’s door to within an inch or two of being closed and finally head downstairs, grabbing a soda on my way outside to wait.

This time tomorrow I’ll be on my way home, back to Oklahoma. I have never been in two minds about making that trip, not until now and I’ll be honest, I don’t really appreciate the uncertainty. Curiosity got me into this and if curiosity killed that cat, confusion is going to bring it back to life just so I can run over it with my truck.

Yes, it’s official, I’ve apparently lost my fucking mind.

“While you’re sitting there arguing with yourself, Christian, start talking out loud and we’ll see if we can’t talk you out of whatever dumb mistake you’re about to talk yourself into.”

David’s got his own coke in his hands when he sits down on the steps beside me. His is open though.

“You were right.”

“I always am, I’m David Boreanaz.”

“Fuck you.”

“Eh, I’ll leave any butt fucking to be done in your court, but tell me what I’m right about this time.”

“It’s not really…you were right when you…I’m going home Dave, I can’t stay.”

Which is not what I was trying to say at all.

“You know I’d love having you closer. Jaden would let you have the top bunk.”

“I know.”

Perhaps not so strangely, given my current mindset, I’d like to be closer too.

“You could be happy with this guy, couldn’t you, Christian? And I’m not just talking about on tap sex happy.”

“Yeah, I could.”

“But?”

Yeah, we both knew there was a huge but in there somewhere.

“I’m already lonely, Dave.”

And Steve’s barely an hour away.

“You are the king of all of all or nothing, Chris. If you like this guy, if you think you could love this guy, you’ve got to take a chance and try the word compromise on for size.”

“I’m not an idiot, Boreanaz.”

“Then quit acting like one, Kane. You make everything so fucking complicated. And before you jump down my throat I’m not saying this would be easy, but it doesn’t have to be impossible either. As a starting point, have you spoken to Steve about any of this?”

“No.”

I know that look on Dave’s face, he’s waiting for the rest of whatever he expects me to say. He’ll be waiting a while though, because there is no more. Silence really can be deafening and Dave is too frustrated to let it drag on.

“Why the hell not?”

“We talked about seeing where this would go, but we never talked about being each others true love or whatever.”

“Well, you’ve obviously changed your mind, how do you know Steve hasn’t changed his?”

Putting the still unopened soda down on the step, I run my hands through my hair because I have to do something with them.

“I don’t know, Dave, but before you start in on your whole compromise thing again, I have nothing to offer him. I can’t fucking meet him half way because I can’t fucking live in California. What right do I have to ask him to give up everything for a guy who told him he wasn’t after anything in the first place? I love you, Dave, you know that, but don’t come at me with your special brand of logic because I just can’t take it right now. Because I could love him so fucking easily and for the life of me, at this very moment, I can’t make that into a good thing.”

“You should still talk to him, Christian.”

“I will.”

Tomorrow. I’ll tell him goodbye.

~*~

From: California

Yeah, I know we just got off the phone, but safe trip home, baby

From: Oklahoma

Back in Lone Grove safely. Going to bail my bar out of jail now

~*~

From: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

To: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

Subject: Hi there

Hey, baby

Sorry I missed you tonight. 

And I do miss you, I miss our date nights. No, I’m not ragging on you, I know you’ve been busy, and fuck knows I haven’t stopped since you left, it’s just…

I miss you. Yeah, I said that already.

Call me when you get a chance? Email, text, whatever.

Talk to you soon, Oklahoma.

~*~

From: Oklahoma

Miss you too, Steve.

From: California

Monday night. It’s a date?

~*~

From: Christian ([cowboysooner@gmail.com](mailto:cowboysooner@gmail.com))

To: Steve ([songman.75@gmail.com](mailto:songman.75@gmail.com))

Subject: Hey

Hey California.

I feel like a cross between a jackass and a fourteen year old girl doing this in an email, but somehow I don’t think this is gonna come as a total surprise to you.

I don’t think I can do this anymore.

It’s funny, in that not at all kind of way, but I always knew me not being able to do this was an option when I placed that ad, but fuck it, I never thought I’d mean it quite this way…

Fuck it all to hell, exactly what do I mean?

Here goes.

This distance thing is killing me, Steve, and I don’t know how to fix it.

David keeps telling me over and fucking over that I need to talk to you, how it’s all about compromise and shit like that, but what he doesn’t understand is I have nothing to compromise on. I love visiting California but I already know from past experience that I can’t live there.

I don’t breathe so well when I’m out of Oklahoma for extended amounts of time. I don’t know if it was just L.A. but when I lived out there the whole place made me sick, literally ill.

And the excess that abounds out there scares the crap out of me as well. I could get swallowed up by that so easily that it leaves me shaking.

Asking you to give up everything isn’t a compromise and changing the rules this late in the game isn’t fair either. I want more, with you, and I can’t have it so the only option I can see is to have nothing.

Yeah, this is a really fucking sucky kiss off letter.

It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s the opposite. How fucked up is that? I never thought I’d be the one to say it’s not you, it’s me.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here, I’m sorry? Thank you?

Yeah, I’m just gonna end this here.

Goodbye, California.

~*~

I’m shaking when hit send, and the second I do I wish I could take it back. Steve deserves more than a fucked up, rambling email to tell him what he means to me because that email said nothing, or maybe less if that’s even possible.

But then again, I had nothing before Steve, and I’ve still got exactly what I started with. It just that for a minute I knew what it meant to have something. Someone.

Doesn’t matter, it’s all done now.

I need a fucking drink.

I want Steve.

~*~

~Steve’s POV~

My mom isn’t the type of mother that hands down sayings to live by stitched into throw pillows, and she firmly believes that sometimes a slap upside my head is entirely called for when I’m being a complete idiot. But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t passed some important things down over the years.

If you fuck up the roux, throw it out and start again because no spice on this earth will save whatever you were cooking.

A cheap red wine is not always the same thing as a bad red wine, and expensive doesn’t always mean it’ll be good either.

Her wine story has very little to do with alcohol.

But I think she borrowed her favourite catch phrase from Steve Winwood – If you see a chance, take it.

The next line in that song is something about finding romance and that’s as good as reason as any to explain why I’ve spent the last two days in my car and I’m currently sitting in said car staring at a sign that says ‘Welcome to Lone Grove’.

It’s been two weeks since Chris’ email arrived and I can’t help second guessing everything I’ve done since then.

Hell, I’ve spent those two weeks seconding guessing every damn thing I’ve done since I found that personal ad.

_‘Bi-curious southern guy looking for a male somebody who might want to explore. Mid 30’s, not ugly, drinker, very occasional smoker. Absolutely not looking for love.’_

Did I push too hard? Over load him? Should have I thrown more vanilla into the banana split of gay sex I was making for him?

Should I have called him when I got the mail? Flown out here? Done something?

Anything.

Basically it all comes back to have I fucked this up beyond all redemption? And the only conclusion I’ve come to is the answer is somewhere in the realm of possibly, maybe and absolutely. The only thing I know for certain is sitting here at the city limits is not going to give me any kinds of answers.

It’s Thursday night and I know Chris will be at his bar, and I have my google maps directions on how to get there. Yeah, I could see whatever sights there are here and meet Chris at his house later on, but I’m not going to. One reason is because I want Chris to show me his town, another reason is I can’t wait until he gets off work. The last, and most important reason is I need to show Chris I have thought this through and, well, I don’t want sex to play any part in it.

The drive to the bar is short, the delay while I sit in the car and talk myself into this for the twenty third time today is not so short but eventually I’m walking towards what looks like a cool, but typically cowboy bar. It’s styled like a log cabin and there’s a neon Corona sign lit in the window on the right, and when I open the door I can’t help smiling because, yes, I expected there to be sawdust on the floor. There isn’t. Instead there are circular tables in various sizes neatly placed around a decent sized dance floor and behind the bar is a guy with short brown hair and blue eyes that aren’t as stupid as I expected them to be.

Mike.

The whole place is polished wood and pride so I swallow mine and head towards the not so welcoming face.

“Is Christian around?”

“You took your fucking time.”

“Excuse me?”

“If your name isn’t Steve, leave. If your name is Steve and you’re here to fuck with Chris some more, again, leave. If your-“

“I’m Steve so just cut to the chase and tell me what I can expect if I’m here to talk to him.”

“Like I said, you took your own sweet time. I’m Michael, and Chris is in his office. Go through that doorway,” he points off to the left “and it’s the first door on the right. Do I really need to say anything about what I’ll happen if-“

“No, you don’t, I get it. Thanks.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

The attitude I’m getting from Chris’ friend is understandable, but to be honest, in the grand scheme of everything it’s also irrelevant.

I don’t glance backward as I head through the door Mike pointed out and by the time I knock on the closed office door I’m not really sure I’m even breathing.

“Rosey, I said to leave me the fuck alone.”

Okay, I might not have expected him to be Happy Gilmour, but I don’t think I was quite expecting Captain Cranky either.

“It’s not Mike.”

Then there’s nothing. No ‘fuck off’, no smashing sounds, just, literally, nothing. And for two minutes there’s even more nothing. After that I just have to open the door.

If you held a gun to my head I could not tell you one thing about the room in front of me, because all I can see is Chris, behind a desk staring at me. Okay, he was staring at the door, but I just walked in and closed it behind me so now by default he’s staring at me.

“Hi.”

So very fucking lame, Carlson.

Christian, however, is still going with silence, so I’m just going to leap from the ledge I’m slipping off of anyway.

“Here’s the thing with compromise. Sometimes it’s not about meeting the other person half way, sometimes it’s giving the other person any information you have and letting them make up their own mind rather than you making it up for them. That’s also where the talking thing comes in as well.”

Still nothing. Fuck.

“Your email was all about how you couldn’t leave Oklahoma, how you’d tried and it didn’t work out because the homesickness and the L.A. life style nearly killed you. I get that, well, I get it now that I know you because family and friends are everything to you. Your email explained all of that ever so nicely and that was your reasoning why you couldn’t leave.”

“I remember, I wrote the fucking thing.”

Not what I was hoping would be the first words out of his mouth, but okay.

“Then do you remember the part about not have the right to ask me to give up my life because you can’t give up any of yours?”

“Yes.”

“Compromise would have been asking me what I wanted, Christian.”

“You wanted sex. You wanted some fun without strings, you said so yourself. I just forgot I fucking suck at that and found out I liked you, really fucking liked you, despite the whole not looking for love thing and you live two fucking days drive away, and…”

He trails off, closes his eyes and rocks back in the chair he’s still sitting in. In that moment I can see his guard slip, and the exhaustion of somebody pushing themselves too hard is written in the tired bruising and lines that don’t belong on his face. It’s a whole lot easier to walk towards him now, because he didn’t ‘Dear John’ me for some of the reasons I entertained.

“And you’re still not asking me what I want, Christian. Here and now is a lot fucking different than it was when I answered some random ad on some random website. I didn’t know that guy from a bar of soap.”

When I’m standing beside him, Chris opens his eyes and looks at me like, yeah, I’ve got no idea, but I don’t like it.

“Why are you here, Steve? I’m still not going to be able to move away.”

God, I want to touch him so fucking badly. 

“I’m waiting for you to ask *me* what *I* fucking want.”

“Fine. What do you want?”

All that needed was an eye roll to turn it into perfect teenage sullenness.

“I want you to show me the kitchen you don’t use in this place.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Steve?”

There’s no way I can’t touch him now, so I’m kneeling down beside him and taking his face in my hands so that he has to look at me.

“If you’d asked me what I wanted the answer would have been you. There’s nothing stopping me from coming to Oklahoma, especially now that I’ve quit my job.”

“Your parents-“

“Will still be there when we visit, or they can come out here, it’s not fucking important. You are, we are.”

Chris is franticly searching my face for something and I’m silently praying like hell that he finds it.

“You quit?”

“You said this place had a kitchen you just hadn’t had time to look for a cook. Will a chef do instead?”

“I can’t ask…”

This feeling of wanting to just smack some sense into this guy is something I’m going to have to get used too, isn’t it?

“Yes, you fucking can, Christian. You can ask, I can offer, we can fucking do this. Unless, of course, you really were trying to ‘Dear John’ me?”

My answer doesn’t come in words, it comes in a lightening quick reaction that has Chris’ mouth against mine, opening, kissing, coaxing. There are tongues and teeth and a hunger that isn’t really about the kiss at all.

It’s a want of a whole different kind. 

And it’s something that has us both panting when the kissing stops.

“I…I don’t know what I’m going to do if this doesn’t work, Steve.”

“Then we work as hard as we have to to make sure it does.”

Resting his forehead against mine, Chris starts to rock his head from side to side.

“No, you don’t understand.”

“Baby, I understand just fine. We’re in your hometown, you’ll be coming out to everybody right under their noses and if I up and leave you’ll still be here, tarred with a very awkward brush. Am I close?”

“Yeah.”

This time it’s me kissing him, making it soft and sweet, wetting his lower lip with my tongue before letting my teeth worry it and I can kiss away the nonexistent hurt.

“I haven’t done this on a whim, baby. If I had I would have been here two weeks ago.”

Finally Chris is touching me, his hands are in my hair and he’s sitting back, making me follow him until I’m sitting in his lap.

“I’ve missed you, darlin’. So fucking much.” 

“Believe me, I know exactly what you mean. Which is why I’m making a hard and fast rule right now: no making decisions about us without asking me first. Like I said, compromise isn’t always about half way straight away. I’ve done this for us now, who the hell knows what you’ll do for us in the future.”

When Chris buries his face in my neck, placing a kiss just below my ear I know I’ve made the right decision. Coming here, answering that ad, loving this man.

“Do you need me to say the words?”

One day, he won’t ask me that question, he’ll just say them.

And I can wait.

“I need you to show me that kitchen. And maybe tell Mike not to eat me.”

Chris’ laughter is loud and right in my ear and the most perfect noise I’ve ever heard.

“C’mon, darlin’, I’ll show you the kitchen you can tell me how fucking horrible it is, because we might have been using it as a storage space, then I’m giving myself the night off. I…I haven’t been sleeping so well.”

Sliding off his lap, and standing up, I hold out my hand. I know he doesn’t need the help up, but I’m not ready to stop touching just yet.

Then before I can blink there are arms wrapped around me and who the fuck cares where we live, this is home, right here.

“Thank you, Steve.”

“You’re welcome, Oklahoma.”

That’s it. There’s no fanfare. The kitchen he shows me is a fucking train wreck and when we go back to Chris’ place, our place, he falls asleep with his jeans on. 

Welcome to Oklahoma, California.

You know what, I think I’ll stay a while.


End file.
